Trying To Escape The Hunt
by criminalmindsloverforever
Summary: Addison Rewrite. Sam and Dean weren't the only kids born to John and Mary. They had a sister named Addison who ran away and settled down with Spencer Reid after a werewolf attack. She has come a long way from how the hunting left her. She thought she was home free but a medical mystery sends her and Spencer Reid though a whirlwind.
1. Chapter 1

**_EVERYONE MUST READ!_ I will not answer any questions that have been answered in this authors note.**

 **Here are the things that have been changed in the story.**

 **1.) Addison is now the youngest Winchester**

 **2.) Sam is older then her by four years and dean him four years.**

 **3.) Spencer knows about the supernatural.**

 **4.) I added a new member to the team for now anyway**

 **5.) Rodney may or may not be a character, not sure yet.**

 **6.) Addison is in college.**

 **Supernatural will start one year before criminal minds. and if you haven't already done it you should add me onto your author alerts so you will know when i post the story and such. Any questions that haven't not already been answered will happily be addressed via PM and or first upload.**

I woke up to the sound of the baby monitor spitting static. I found myself sitting up and looked around the room. Spencer's arm was still draped around my stomach as he slept. I gently removed it and got off the mattress. His shirt fell around my thigh as I moved though our room. The walls of the home were something out of my childhood. I wanted to stop and look at them but my feet continued moving.

The light at the end of the hallway began to flicker and I frowned. I glided to it and gave it the confused look it deserved. My fingers tapped against it lightly until the light stood still. From there I moved into the nursery. I couldn't tell what the child looked like. Any features were blurry though it didn't seem to bother me.

"You." The voice was not my own. It was softer, more soothing but at the same time held a level of hostility that scared me. It was then that I saw the man standing over the crib, his arm outstretched, he turned slowly and smiled. He opened his arms in welcome but the look on his face was anything but comforting.

The point of view changed, a man was standing over me, a wicked grin on his face.

"Get away from her!"

"You weren't nearly this worried when I visited your son." I saw him flick his wrist and heard a loud bang on the wall. He laughed again and before I knew it, my mother was above me on the ceiling and something was slicing though her stomach and I heard her scream. He laughed again was gone like the darkness had swallowed him whole. Within what felt like a second my father was over-top of me and looked up at my dead mother.

"Mary!" Flames erupted around her.

"Addison!" Everything around me changed. I was no longer in home sweet hell, I was back in Spencer and I's apartment. "Addi…." He had his hands on either side of my face, his thumbs consistently brushing underneath my eyes. "Addi look at me." His words were gentle and he softly moved my face so it was on level with his. I couldn't breath, I couldn't see anything in the darkness of our bedroom. _In….out…..in…..out._

"N-nightmare."

"I know. You're okay."

* * *

The car came to a complete stop in front of the FBI. Spencer was sitting in the passenger seat of the car with a tight expression on his face. Him and I hadn't spoken much that morning, not that we ever talked much after one of my nightmares. I glanced around the parking lot at all the people that were walking into the building and when I looked back to Spencer I saw that he was also watching them. I could almost feel the thoughts and doubts that were rolling from him mind in waves.

"Spencer, you're going to be late." I warned softly. He looked at me and nodded.

"Are you sure your going to be okay if I have to leave?" I rolled my eyes and repeated his action.

"They're just nightmares."

"Nightmares about you're mother burning on the ceiling." I couldn't help but flinch. "Addison, they're not getting better, in fact they are getting worse. The longer you go without addressing the issues the longer it will be until they go away."

"I don't understand how you expect me to 'address' the issue."

"Talking to someone could really help, I wish you would be more open to that."

"And tell them what? That I was raised by revenge driven monster hunter as a child and that my mother was killed by the very monster that my father was hell bent on killing? They're going to think I'm nuts, try and put me in some sort of facility and drug me up. You would have thought I was crazy if you hadn't seen it for yourself." He took a deep breath.

"You could rephrase a few things."

"Go to work Spencer."

"Addi."

"I really don't want to talk anymore about it Spencer, go to work." My eyes zoned in on the steering wheel. I wouldn't look at him and I heard him take a deep breath. Sometimes his lack of being able to read social cues really got on my nerves but it was also something that I found cute. Win some you lose some. He waited a few seconds before getting out of the car and moving into the building. I waited until the door closed behind him before pulling away.

I didn't like fighting with him about things like my nightmares, he didn't understand and I didn't really want him to. The car ride back to the apartment was worse then to where I dropped Spencer off. I felt bad for leaving things like that with Spencer but I'd fix it later and he knew that speaking about important things like this aren't the best thing to do after a nightmare.

The car ride back to the Apartment made me more angry as it thought about what needed to be done. we didn't have any food, anything to drink, a washer or dryer, and no money. I promised Spencer that I wouldn't go to any bars without him so hustling pool was out of the question so if I needed anything I would have to wait until Spencer got paid two weeks from now.

The main thing on my list for today was to look for a job. Spencer kept telling me that I didn't have to work, that he would make more then enough to support us. What I got from that was I could get a job that I truly enjoy without having to worry about bringing home the bacon.

* * *

Spencer walked out of the elevator into the hall that led into the bullpen. He saw Gideon right away. He was doing his best to focus on anything other then his emotionally unstable girlfriend. He was more then happy to get this job but was also worried about leaving Addison on her own. When he met her she had been on all sort of drugs. Some of them, to this day, he doesn't know about. Addison was underweight, dehydrated, depressed, and suffering from insomnia. She's been good about it for the last year in terms of not having any relapses but she still struggled and it wasn't that he didn't trust her, it was more like he didn't want her to feel like drugs were the only thing left to turn to if he wasn't home.

"Spencer." Gideon greeted Spencer with a grin on his face but didn't make any move to hug him, knowing that the younger man wouldn't more then likely be a little too nervous. He did take into account the troubled look on his face and made a note to ask him about it later. "Agent Hotchner is waiting for you in his office." Spencer nodded and let Gideon lead him towards the bullpen.

As he walked though the rows of desks to the small flight of stares that brought them up to the offices on the second level. Gideon gave three short raps onto the wooden door before opening it slightly. Spencer heard what sounded to be an invitation and Gideon opened the door all the way.

"Dr. Reid." Agent Hotchner greeted and stood as Spencer made his way into the office. He made no move to shake hands which told him that Gideon had already told him more personal things about the young agent. Spencer gave him a small wave and sat down with the prompting of Gideon. "We've just got a few more things to go over before we can get you your badge and other credentials." Spencer nodded and set his bag down in his lap. "You will have to take and pass your gun qualification in order to carry a firearm, you are aware of that correct?"

"Yes." That made him more nerves then just about anything else this job entailed. He knew that Addison could teach him and that she would be the best person to go to for this but at the same time he didn't want to ask her. He felt that it might being back negative memories from her past. Despite him not being a psychologist it didn't stop him from believing that she was suffering from Chronic PTSD. He felt like the memories of her mother's death set it off when she was a kid and the first werewolf attack pushed her over the edge. It would explain just about everything, even her running away from home. He's noticed a slight decline in her symptoms other the years and he could only hope that she would continue to get better.

Agent Hotchner went over a few more things, made sure that Spencer understood the demanding nature of the job and that he would have to make accommodations to it in order to make everything work. He talked about how that they did was a team effort and that Spencer would more then likely have another agent with him most of the time, at least in the beginning. After he went over all of that he offered to introduce him to the other agents on the team. Gideon was quiet the entire time and when they stood up he followed them out.

"What do you think?" Gideon asked him as they moved down the stairs that he had just come up.

"It's nice, I wasn't sure what I was expecting." He answered, he had a slight idea what to expect but mostly he thought it was going to be like the rest of his life had been, people not taking him seriously due to his age. So far everything was going smoother then he thought. They stopped at a cluster of desks and Agent Hotchner gestured to the one that didn't have anything on it.

"This will be your desk." Spencer nodded and their presence caught the attention of two other agents. "Morgan and Sampson, this is the new agent, Dr. Spencer Reid." Spencer gave a little wave and pressed his hand back on his bag. It looked like the darker of the two was about to stand up and offer him a hand but was interrupted by someone else calling out Agent Hotchner's name, standing right outside of his office door. He nodded to Gideon for him to follow and that left Spencer alone with the other two agents.


	2. Chapter 2

The bed was colder then normal and I didn't like it. Spencer had been called out for his first case since he started working, it's already been two days and I'm over it. I wasn't sure what to do with myself now that he wasn't here all the time but between looking for a job and going to school full time I was keeping pretty busy.

I watched the alarm clock with disdainful eyes as I saw the numbers move closer to the time I had to get up. As the numbers clicked by, so did my mood. Normally Spencer would be giving me the daily pep talk, okay maybe it wasn't a pep talk but it got me out of bed every morning. I never realized how much I needed it until he wasn't here to give it to me.

The shrill sound of it screaming at me brought the automatic response of me throwing it at the wall. Spencer normally slept on that side, he started doing that after I broke the third one. The loud annoying sounds seemed to unlock a headache that I could already tell was going to last all day. Less then two beats later my phone started ringing.

"What?" I closed my eyes and pressed my head into the pillow. I didn't even have to look at the caller ID to know who it was.

"Get out of bed or I'll baker act you." I wrinkled my nose at the weak threat.

"You don't have the balls." I growled, letting myself sink farther into the bed as I waited for his response.

"You're going to test it?"

"Come at me babe." He laughed but at the same time I could see him shaking his head. It was likely that he wasn't laughing at the joke, but at my personality.

"Get out of bed Addi. You have school." His words were followed by my loud groan. "And you have

your doctors appointment."

"Fuck the doctor, oh wait. I'm already doing that." I could hear his face go red. He didn't reply for a second but when he did I could tell that I cheered him up.

"You're sleeping with your gynecologist?"

"No, Spencer. You're a Doctor and I'm sleeping with you. I was making a joke."

"It wasn't funny." He said seriously.

"It was hilarious." I disagreed before adding, "I don't understand why you make me go to the freaking doctors when I'm not even sick." I rolled my eyes and swung my legs over the side of our bed and moved to the bathroom.

"Addison, you're supposed to go to the gynecologist once a year once you turn 18 or after you become sexually active and you're both." He started, "not to mention your per-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, don't be talking about my business in front of your coworkers."

"I'm not in-"

"Yo Reid! Time to go."

"Uh huh. Goodbye love." I turned the shower on.

"Please go."

"I will. Now get to work. They're not paying you to watch after me." I heard the sound of a car door shut meaning he was now in close proximity with other people.

"Nobody has to pay me to watch after you." I wasn't sure what to say to that.

"I Love you, I'll see you when you Get back."

"Love you too." I hung up and tossed it onto the counter. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The first thing that I saw were the large scars that ran down my side. They were still angry looking and I almost always winced when I saw them. They were more then just scars, it was a reminder of my old life and what I left behind. The ones that went down my back were the ones that really made me…go back. Right underneath the sports bra I was currently wearing was a very large tattoo.

It was the Winchester 1876 Centennial. Sam's name was carved into the handle. My father's name was the trigger the letters in cursive as if they were piece of metal that would send bullet flying through the air. The chamber had Dean's, and last but not least, my mother's name was on the barrel. Each name had been placed in it's spot for a reason and I was very happy with how it turned out. The artistry in that one tattoo kind of overshadowed the other one over my heart. But the anti-possession symbol was more for protection then it was to look good.

I had a few small dots scattered on my arm from when my life was a little bit darker, I didn't like thinking about those either. Spencer has done a pretty good job of pulling me out of that hole I somehow fell into as a preteen. I don't know how he did it and what made him want to but whatever he saw in me, I really hope never goes away.

0000

I swung my legs back and forth underneath the chair of mass pain and destruction as I waited on the doctor to come back inside. She had me change into a paper gown and stepped out while I did it. I'm not sure about anyone else but getting felt up by a doctor when you feel you don't need it, isn't the best experience.

She came back inside and smiled warmly at me. She moved across the room and took a seat in the stool that sat in front of me.

"So, Miss. Winchester."

"Addison please. Miss Winchester sounds like I'm in trouble." She chuckled and nodded.

"Okay Addison. So this is your first appointment and I understand that it can make you nervous but their isn't anything to be embarrassed about and there are no bad questions." She started. I just nodded, knowing that if I had any questions I could just ask my resident genius. "Do you have any questions before we begin?" I shook my head. "Okay."

The first thing she did was a general physical exam. Took about fifteen minutes of her feeling my abdomen, weighing me, checking my blood pressure, and asking me questions. I could tell that something she found was bothering her but it seemed like she would be waiting till the end to share with the class.

"Okay so two things."

"Good or bad?" I crossed my arms over my chest, that she just finished messing with, and continued to move my feel back and forth.

"Well first of all, your blood pressure was more then abnormally high. Especially with how much effort you put into you physical health."

"Okay, and the other thing?"

"Your uterus is swollen. It could mean a number of things: pregnancy, uterine fibroids, and a few other benign conditions..."

"I hear a but coming on."

"But there is also the possibility of cancer that we also need to keep in mind. Though before we get worked up, lets rule the other things out first." She spent another half an hour asking more questions. She took a blood sample for a pregnancy test, and took more samples from far more invading places and promised to get back to me.

The only good thing I had to say was the fact I scheduled this appointment, well Spencer did, after classes so I didn't have to worry about facing a bunch of other people right after hearing that I could possibly have cancer. I didn't feel sick, in fact I felt really good.

The high blood pressure was also a bit unnerving but at the same time I had a lot of stress problems. My nightmares always messed with my stress levels and made me feel like everything would go to hell. It always took me about two days to fully recover from one.

She told to call my main doctor and have him check me out. I decided I wanted to talk to Spencer about it before I made any appointments. I'd honestly rather have Spencer with me then going alone. He always knew what questions to ask and understood what they said better then I did. Not to mention I didn't have a regular doctor much to Spencer's displeasure.

I couldn't say that I wasn't a little but scared about what could be happening. Everything she said that could be causing it made my skin crawl. The thought of having a baby at 18 made me want to throw up.

I got home at the same time as our lovely neighbor, a pissy miserable women who felt the need to criticize my tattoo. The one that keep demons from using my body as their own. I didn't even humor her today, I wasn't in the mood. Normally I would go back and forth with her, each time spinning new stories of how the symbol could translate into Christianity.

The second I walked through the door my phone started ringing. Spencer's name was in bold on the screen.

"Hey."

"What's wrong?" I rolled my eyes, even when he's not in front of me, he can tell when something's wrong.

"I haven't even said anything yet."

"You sound off. Was everything alright with the doctor?"

"Yeah, we can talk about it when you get home." He didn't like my answer.

"We finished the case, I should be home before you go to sleep tonight."

"That a challenge?" He huffed and I laughed.

"The jet is taking off in ten so I'll see you soon."

"Okay...on your way home can you pick up a new alarm clock? I kind of broke ours."

 **Time skip**

I was laying upside down on the couch when Spencer came home. I had exchanged my jeans and shirt for one of Spencer's work shirts. He tossed his bag down next to me and looked over my bent legs, he tilted his head to the side.

"What are you doing?" I shrugged and pushed my bare foot against the side of his face in a loving way. He frowned and pushed my foot away.

"Let me love you!" I exclaimed, watching him as he walked around the couch and pushed his bag to the side so he could sit. "How was work?"

"We found the unsub without anymore bodies. So it ended well. The DA won't have any problems building an air tight case."

"That's great." I sat up and readjusted myself so my upper body was on Spencer's lap.

"How did your appointment go?"

"Apparently I have high blood pressure."

"How high?"

"160/100. She told me to call my doctor but I don't have one. She also said that if I felt even a little bit off to go to the hospital."

"That's called hypertension." His hand was suddenly in my hair. He was quiet for a second after that. "Which doesn't make any sense because you of all people shouldn't have high blood pressure. Did she find anything else abnormal?" I could hear the tension in his voice and felt it in his body. "This is why you go to the doctors even when you don't feel sick."

"Shut the fuck up." I sat up and started pushing myself off of him. He locked his arm over my chest so I couldn't get up. Either he wasn't trying that hard or I was just that much stronger then him.

"You're just mad because I'm right."

"You're always right."

"Must be why you're always mad." The second my foot touched the ground the walls started moving.

Suddenly Spencer was in front of me. I grabbed onto his shoulder and had him steady me for a second. "Addison."

"I'm fine." I said as I tried to take deep breaths.

"Get dressed." He slowly led me into the bedroom and pushed me gently onto the bed. My vision cleared and I looked up at Spencer who was digging through my dresser. He came back with a pair of shorts. "Put them on."

"Spencer, what are you doing?" I asked but did as he said.

"We're going to the emergency room." He said shortly. He got up and grabbed my shoes from in front of the closet.

"I'm fine, I just stood up to fast. It happens all the time." It almost seemed like he ignored me as he pushed the flats onto my feet.

"It's not up for debate." He pulled me back up onto my feet and button closed the open portion on his shirt I was wearing. It wasn't five minuets that he had me in the car and we were on our way to the place I hate the most.


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer and I sat in the waiting room of the hospital. They gave me some forms to fill out and I happily gave them to Spencer. I wasn't sure what they said but I guess Spencer didn't have to ask me any questions because he didn't seem to have any issues with the answers. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the smallish couch Spencer and I were sitting on.

"I feel fine now Spence."

"I don't care, we're not leaving the hospital until a doctor tells me your fine and prescribes some blood pressure medication." I rolled my eyes and could already feel another headache shoving its way into the front of my head. I took a deep breath and moved so my feet were bent up on the seat and laid down on Spencer's lap. "Are you in pain?"

"It's just a headache." I assured him.

"That's another symptom."

"I get them all the time, it's nothing to worry about."

"That just means this could have been going on for a lot longer then we realize." I rolled my eyes and did my best to get comfortable. It would be awhile until it was time to see anyone.

I'm not sure much time went past from when I went to sleep but it felt like only seconds later that Spencer was waking me up. It took me a second to sit up and wake up. "Addi." I had to blink a few times to fully wake up but in the time I was coming to the world he had me on my feet and was leading me to a nurse.

"Addison Winchester?" I nodded and we were led back into another room. This room had quiet a few beds that were evenly spread out around the room, each had a certain that could be pulled around for privacy. The nurse brought them to an empty one and it was then that I noticed that she held a clipboard. The second that I was on the bed she set the board down and grabbed the cuff that was supposed to check blood pressure.

I could tell by her face that she didn't like what the numbers read. She had me lay back on the bed and started asking questions. "How long has you're blood pressure been this high?" I glanced to Spencer and shrugged.

"I didn't even know it was abnormal until this afternoon when I was at the gynecologist." She nodded and wrote something down on the paper.

"Did you're doctor find anything else that might have caused this or has any correlation?"

"She said that my uterus was swollen but that was it." Spencer's hand was on my shoulder and it tightened at my words. "She took some blood and sent them to the lab to try and get some answers as to why."

"We're going to run our own tests, we can get results back a lot faster but for right now I'm going to grab the doctor on the floor and see what he wants to do." She smiled, "I'm sure everything is fine." She took the clipboard with her and disappeared.

"You didn't tell me about the swollen uterus." He said, moving to stand in front of me.

"I didn't have time, the second you asked about it you were rushing me to the hospital." I shrugged, "I'm sorry." He took a deep breath. "This is why you should come to the doctors with me, you understand and know the right questions to ask. I get lost. I can talk about almost everything else but anything medical falls on deaf ears. I don't have anything else to say about it." I crossed my arms over my chest. "How long do you think we're going to have to be here."

About four hours and a lot of tests later I was more then ready to go home. It was 11 o'clock at night and I was done with nurses and doctors. They put me on Iv fluids and had me take some blood pressure medication and I had hoped that would be it but apparently they had more tests they wanted to run. Spencer looked like he was ready to pass out himself and part of me wanted to tell him to get to sleep but the other part of me wanted him awake. As if they were reading my mind the doctor came over to us and pulled the curtain shut. He had a piece of paper in his hands as well as a worrisome face.

"So we got your blood work back and I've got some news." He paused as if for dramatic affect.

"Well, this isn't the Opera so…." He chuckled. Spencer hushed me and motioned for the doctor to continue.

"You're pregnant." I took a very deep breath and looked at Spencer who was still looking at the doctor. "Your HCG levels place you around 7 to 8 weeks but the only way to tell for sure is an ultrasound. We also found protean in your urine so that leads us to think preeclampsia." He began.

"If she's only 8 weeks then she shouldn't have hypertension. Even gestational hypertension happens in the second half of pregnancy. Preeclampsia isn't diagnosed until after the 20th week." Spencer started. "She hasn't had a history of high blood pressure in the past."

"That why I would like to schedule an ultrasound. The nurse is getting the paper work together to have you admitted and once you have a room we can do the ultrasound. For right now I'm going to switch your medication to a safer one for the baby and we're going to be keeping a very close eye on you." He then went onto assure me and other things but I turned him out. If he said anything important then Spencer would hear it.

The doctor left Spencer and I to ourselves. I didn't look at him, or at anything really. All I could think about were the nightmares that have plagued my dreams since I was a kid. Were they finally coming true? Is history going to repeat itself?

I know that son of a bitch is still out there. I can feel it like a dark cloud looming over me, plotting and waiting for the perfect moment to ruin my life again. I leaned back against the uncomfortable bed and closed my eyes. This day couldn't get any worse.

Spencer grabbed my hand and gripped onto it tightly. I let my head lull to the side and looked at him. "We'll figure it out." He said. "We always do."

"Spencer, this isn't you breaking my needles and pouring out my alcohol." I was whispering even though it felt like I was screaming at the top of my lungs. "This is a human, a living, breathing, feeling, and crying human that we are going to have to somehow keep alive for the next 18 years." I closed my eyes and sighed. "We're not ready for this." He didn't say anything but he didn't have to. Both of us knew where we were at.

I hate hospital rooms. They moved me onto the eighth floor and I was more then happy to get out of a room full of people but at the same time, I would so much rather be at home in our own bed. I don't think that will be happening anytime soon.

Spencer hadn't left my side as and the numbers on the clocked ticked by I knew that he was going to have to leave in the morning. It wouldn't look very good if he called out this early into the job. The nurse said that they were going to wait until the morning to do anything else. It was three in the morning before we were settled in and the lights were turned out.

"You should go home and get some sleep." I told him as a yawn escaped myself. "You have work in a few hours."

"I'm not going to work." He said. His tone told me that he was surprised that I would even bring up the idea of him leaving. "I'm going to call in tomorrow. You're health is far more important to me then work."

"We need the money, you haven't put me on the insurance yet. We're going to have to pay for all this out of pocket. Not to mention we are going to have a lot more doctors appointments after this. My heath isn't going to matter if we don't have a place to live." I sat up, any inkling of tiredness was far gone and replaced with my worrying voice.

"Addison, don't worry about it. Get some sleep. I'll take of it." I scoffed but was far to exhausted to do anything about it. He already made up his mind and he no doubt thought though every situation that could present himself and I trusted him enough that I knew we would be okay for the time being. I do think that my lack of fighting worried him slightly. I scooted over in the bed so I was pressed against the bar. "What are you doing?"

"Making room. If you're not going to go home then you're going to sleep with me." I said, turning onto my side that didn't have a needle in it.

"Addi-"

"Get in the fucking bed Spencer." The rest of the night was spent trying to get some sleep. I was trying really hard not to think about the monster that killed my mother and what all this meant to me. Don't get me wrong. I want a family, I really do….but I'm barely an adult and though I might argue that I never really had a chance to be a child; it doesn't mean that I'm ready for a baby myself.

Spencer was asleep the second his head hit the pillow and that's when I realized just how tired he was. The room was dark but the lack of light did nothing to drown out the sounds that were coming from outside the door. Not to mention they had me hooked up to several different monitors that made various different noises.

I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I was going to do. I always thought that me father and brother's would fine me eventually. Its not like I was really hiding anymore. If they were really looking for me, I wouldn't be all that hard to find. I thought about how they would react if they did fine me. I would no doubt be in a ton of shit. Dad would more then likely demand that I go back with him, I had a duty to the family.

That always made me feel guilty but at the same time I had a duty to myself. Even as a 13 year old I understood that the only way I would ever live past 20 that I would have get away from hunting. I don't really remember a time with them that I was happy. Not that it was their fault but the nightmares were worse then they are now, no one was taking the drugs away from me, in fact Dad didn't give a flying fuck about me drinking. Dean was busy being the good little soldier he is and Sam was caught up in school. I was left to my own devises with no supervision and its not like anyone ever asked me how I felt. No chick flick moments. Again, it was my fault that I was the way I was but at the same time someone should have been paying attention.

When I turned 13, yes my birth day. I woke up with every intention on ending my life. The nightmare had been the worse one, even to this day. I woke up to an empty motel room. Dad and Dean were off on a hunt and Sam had an early morning thing at school, I forget what. I got out of bed, grabbed a bottle of pills from the bottom of my bag and walked into the bathroom. 13 pills for 13 years.

As I pulled each one out more god awful thoughts weaved their way into my head. Each one giving a detailed explanation as to how each of the men in my family would be better off without me. Just as the first one was about to touch my lips the motel phone started ringing. Knowing that if there wasn't an answer then Sam would be back here very soon. Didn't matter if it was him himself on the phone or dad. I answered it and wasn't surprised to hear Dean's voice on the other end.

"What's up chicken little? Happy birthday." I could tell that he was in a good mood, meaning that they were more then likely on their way back.

"Thanks." My tone was more then emotionless but it didn't set him off. They were all used to hearing it and it didn't matter what they tried to do they couldn't get her to stop using it.

"We're going to be back in a few hours. What do ya say. We can go watch a movie, maybe get some pie?" I could tell he was trying, trying to lift my spirits but no matter how much I wanted to be happy I just couldn't. Something dark was looming over me, crushing my soul and shoving me farther into a very dark, very deep hole. It was almost like when the werewolf slashed into my stomach it tore more then just my body. It killed something deeper, something that no hospital had any hopes of mending.

"O-okay." The word broke in my throat, it was the first time Dean heard something other then numbness but it wasn't a comforting emotion. It was broken and, overall and empty. Not of emotion, but of hope.

"Addison." He said seriously. "Well be home in the next hour and a half." It was almost a warning. Telling me that I wouldn't have time to do anything crazy. "In fact, I'm going to have Sam come back. You can him can watch crappy Tv shows until then." I told him what he wanted to hear and we hung up. I stood there, right in front of the phone and burst into tears. I didn't want them to find me, dead or alive.

So I left.

Despite me wanting to get some sleep, I couldn't. Just when I would be close to drifting off something would shock me back awake. If it wasn't something from outside it was my own thoughts. Spencer didn't flinch no matter what happened. I glanced at the clock and it read 7:00 and Spencer was supposed to be there at 8. If he was going to call out, he needed to do it soon.

 **So, tell me what you guys think. I know that its a little, well a lot, similar to the original but things will start really changing sooner then ya'll think. I ask you to bare with me as I pick your brains.**

 **Do you think Addison is correct in thinking that her mental issues when she was younger all on her? How bad do you think John screwed up with her?**


	4. Chapter 4

Spencer stood at in the little brake room part of the hallway Addison's floor had. It had two coffee makers and some containers with hot water so people could make tea. He didn't want anything to do with the tea so he went for the coffee. He pored about eight sugar packets and it still was too bitter. Addison almost never put sugar in hers, she says that it's the bitterness that wakes her up.

He had his phone out and was about to make the call to Agent Hotchner. Addison was sleeping, it took him about five minuets to untangle himself from her without waking her up. He sat down in a chair that was pressed against the wall and pulled his phone out. Part of him wanted to go home, shower and get a change of clothes but at the same time he didn't want to leave the hospital.

"SSA Hotchner." Aaron greeted on the phone.

"Um.. It's Spencer." He said into the phone. "I'm not going to be able to come into work today." He said, glancing down the hall to make sure no one was going in or out of her room. "I've been at the emergency all night."

"Is everything all right?"

"My….girlfriend she…they admitted her around two this morning." Spencer sighed and pressed the phone tighter to his ear. Both him and Addison always kind of hesitated when referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. When Spencer met Addison she had been 14 and him 17. They didn't start out dating. He had just been giving her a place to stay. He had just been introduced to a whole world that he had only thought of as fiction. Addison had been the only direct line into all that new information and had a lot of answers for him, not to mention she had been injured. Spencer took care of her and didn't report her to the police and she answered all of his questions.

"Is she going to be okay?" Before Spencer could answer he noticed a doctor walk into Addison's room and not come back out. Spencer stood up and began moving his way towards him at a normal pace.

"They're still running some tests, we're not completely sure whats going on just yet. I have to go, her doctor is back. I'll be back in tomorrow hopefully." He said though he had a feeling that that wasn't going to work either but it would if Addison had any say in it.

"Take you're time. I hope things work out well." Spencer thanked him and hung up the phone just as he reached the room and walked inside. Addison was awake and pushing herself so she was sitting up. She yawned when she saw Spencer. The doctor was taking her blood pressure again and Spencer found it a little odd. Normally a nurse would be the one doing that. About a minuet later a nurse did come in the room pushing a large machine in front of her.

"Sorry to wake you." Doctor Evens told Addison, "I was only able to book the mobile machine for the next hour." Addison grunted.

"Don't worry about it." Spencer said for her and sat down in the chair next to her bed. She looked at him with that half asleep face that she often got in the mornings. The doctor wrote down the numbers he got from the cuff on a clipboard and handed it to the nurse.

He hooked up the machine and began to get it ready. He was asking her a bunch of questions that she was taking her time to answer. They gave her some more medication and she took them with a frown on her face. Spencer wasn't sure how he felt about the news of them having a baby. It was something that he never really thought about. He was trying to imagine himself as a father and he was coming up blank.

"Okay, looks like we're ready to get started." Addison pushed down the blanket and pulled up her shirt. They let her keep her clothes without changing into one of their gowns. "This is going to be cold." Doctor Evans said as he moved around the gel on her skin. She sighed and looked to Spencer. Everyone was quiet as he began working the wand over Addison's stomach and the shape of a baby began to take form on the screen.

 **Addison POV**

Doctor Evans made a noise that didn't sound very comforting. I looked to Spencer and he too had a worrisome face. I looked between the two men and tired to understand what had them so unsettled. The picture on the screen looked like a normal kid, a normal blob of a kid. Spencer's hand was in mine I gripped it tightly to get his attention.

"What's going on? Both of you look like you're seeing something that you're not supposed to be seeing."

"It looks like you're farther along then I had originally thought."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned, trying to sit up and Spencer pressed me back down.

"It looks like you're around 23, 24 weeks along." My eyes shot open to a width that I didn't even know was possible. 24 weeks? Isn't that more then haft way thought? I looked to Spencer and expected him to say that is wasn't possible, that I couldn't be that far into this. He didn't say anything to discredit the doctor and I could feel my heart began trying to burst out of my chest. I should had symptoms, why didn't I know? I voiced my concerns.

"Why…shouldn't I have had symptoms? Shouldn't I be showing? There I no way that I'm that pregnant." I laughed but it wasn't funny. It wasn't funny at all. Spencer squeezed my hand tightly as it he was trying to calm me do, he more then likely was.

"Its not common but it happens." He said, "that also means that it is preeclampsia."

"You say that like it's a good thing." My voice was more then strained.

"It means that we know what it is and we can treat it. They only way to cure it is for you to have the baby but we can keep it from progressing into anything else until the baby has a better chance of survival." Again he was talking like this was all good news. This is not good news. "If we can get your blood pressure down then we can release you" That was good news. I don't know what was said after that. I couldn't be a mom. How do you be a mom? Its not like someone was ever a mom to me. I had more then enough father figures in my life, but never any really maternal ones.

Spencer didn't really have any kind of parental. Gideon was the closes thing that Spencer has ever had to a parent. Sure he had his mother but she was too far gone mentally that he had to raise himself. It felt like ten years later the doctor was done and was leaving. I couldn't remember if I had said anything, I couldn't remember if Spencer said anything. Nurses came and gone since then but it felt like no time had passed but at the same time it felt like lifetimes. Spencer never left though.

He was their the entire time and he didn't say a word. Sometimes he would hold my hand, others his fingers would be running up and down the side of my face or he would other things like reading my medical chart over and over even though he memorized every word the first time. It wasn't until 6 at night that they decided to release me from the hospital. They made sure that I understood that I needed to take things extremely easy. I was to be on bed-rest as much as possible and should have my blood pressure checked twice a day every day. The doctor spoke to Spencer about the possibility of a nurse being able to come out and do just that and with the Semester being almost over Spencer mentioned something about me either taking less classes and only doing school part time or taking some time off completely.

Spencer drove us home at 9. It had taken them longer then I thought it should have to get everything in order. They prescribed me with some more blood pressure medication and gave me a list of foods I should stay away from and food that would be better. Spencer made sure that he covered every possible base that could every grace the field that I call my life. The second I made it into the door I made a beeline for our bed.

It was pressed against the far side of our room. Spencer had wanted to put it in the middle underneath one of the only windows in our dungeon of an apartment. It wasn't a large bed, it barely fit the two of us and Spencer feet hung off the edge. When we moved here both of us were going to school. Granted I hadn't even turned 18 yet, Spencer and I weren't that far apart in age, three years with a few months thrown in but we met at an age where people thought it was a little odd, anyway. Spencer and I didn't have very much money to spare on anything really, we still don't. He had sold his family house and we had to save that money for rent and other bills and he also wanted to use it for my college tuition. If only we had know that luggage wasn't the only thing we were bringing over from Veges.

I let myself fall into the bed, even though its small it's still one of the most comfortable beds I've ever slept in. I pushed myself closer to the wall so Spencer would have room to crawl in beside me.

"You're not even going to take off your shoes?" He asked. I could tell just by the way he was breathing that he was exhausted. I patted the sheets next to me. He had dropped his messenger bag onto the couch and had kicked his shoes off at the door. He slowly moved over to the bed but he didn't lay down.

He reached over and grabbed my flats off my feet before tossing them across the room. Next were the jean shorts that ended up were shoes did. After that he did lay down and ran his fingers over his face. He was almost half way off the bed and I pushed myself farther into the wall so he would have more room. He didn't take it.

I rolled up on my side and propped my head up with the palm of my hand. He had his eyes closed and was breathing in soft even breaths, almost like he was sleeping but I knew better. I reached over and grabbed his hand off his forehead and brought it over to me. I didn't pull on him hard but he rolled over towards me anyway.

I never liked seeing him like this. When he was considering putting his mother in a home he had thought through just about everything that could happen. Some of the things he brought up made me think that he was the one that needed to be put in a home. I could see it on his face in this very moment and it bothered me to a point. I will never fully believe that ignorance is bliss but I do sometimes feel that knowing to much can hurt just as much as not knowing.

"You were pregnant before I even started training." He said, his eyes still closed. I gave him a half smile.

"If we had found out before some people would have considered you a creep." He gave that comment the silence it deserved. "Spencer," My voice took on a more serious tone, "what are we going to do?" His eyes opened and I could tell that he wasn't sure himself. He could run the number and tell me more then likely down to the cent how much it would all cost. He could write up a budget that would get us though it on the economical front.

"We can make it work financially." He finally said after what felt like years, "don't worry about it." He added.

"I could get a-"

"You're not getting a job, you heard what they said. Its bed-rest for you until the baby is born." I haven't ever heard him tell me to do something like the way he did just now. Normally when Spencer wanted me to do something he would ask, he almost never outright told me to do something. He began to list what could happen is my 'condition' progressed anymore then it already was. I guess the only thing that was good about this was the fact that I was already half was though, go me!

"Spence." I said, forcing him to trail off on his rant. The two of us were to tired to get into anything to heavy. I licked my lip and let my head fall into the pillows. He didn't say anything but I felt his hands on my side. I closed my eyes as I said, "I know that we can do it money wise." Sighing, I let his arm move under me head and replace the pillow. "But, do either one of us know how to be parents? And I do not care how many books people publish on the subject, is it something that we can do?" He was thinking it over, he always thought everything over before he did it. It was the biggest difference between the two of us.

"Addison, we can learn."

"I don't know, I never had a mom." He knew it was a soft spot for me, I almost never brought her up without some sort of prompting. "What if my nightmares are some sort of sign?" I could see the disbelief on his face so I quickly added, "I didn't start having them again until right around the time I got pregnant. I know it could be due to the new living situation and it could be the guilt from running away but they stopped after you got me off drugs. I was, I was in a good place mentally for the most part and nothing really happened to push me back into that frame of mind." I found myself reaching for the blanket and Spencer ended up having to pull it over the both of us.

"Have you been thinking about relapsing?"

"I….don't know really but the want is there. Every time I wake up from a nightmare all I can think about is cracking open a bottle of Jack." My voice kind of cracked near the end. "But now I….I wont." I took a deep breath and forced myself to think about the consequences those actions could cause. I hated doing it, especially when I went into almost everything without thinking it through.

"Addison, I'm here to help you." He said, "I want to help you. But I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself. You have made tremendous progress in the last few years. Addiction isn't something you should expect to recover from overnight. In some of the books I read people were sill have cravings decades after giving it up." That's another thing about Spencer, he never took peoples emotions in mind and he never thought to sugarcoat anything. In fact, I'm the only person that he attempted to keep my thoughts and feelings in mind. So he didn't even take my finch at the thought of going though this hell for the rest of my life.

"I know." I sighed as I said it and closed my eyes. "I just don't think I'm ready for a baby. I don't think I can handle the responsibility."

"I think you are. Addison, the fact that you are admitting the fact that you might not be prepared for it shows just how mature you've become. The Addison I met almost four years ago would have charged into this without another thought." I knew he was right and I knew that I wasn't the same person that ran away from my family. I wasn't the same depressed 13 year old that thought about killing myself in the bathroom for my older brothers and father to find. I was an adult now, or at least not as childish. "Maybe you should contact your family…."

"No. You said I should avoid stressful situations and that would be asking for some kind of emotional breakdown." I shook my head and moved myself so I had my head pressed into the crook of his arm. "I don't want to go back to that time of my life. This is our time, our time together and I don't want to turn back into the emotionless thing I was back then and it wasn't their fault….and I hate myself for doing what I did but I couldn't…."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me." He said into my hair. "Go to sleep."

"But."

"Go to sleep Addison!"

The next morning I woke up to the sound of Spencer's phone ringing but at the time I couldn't tell it from mine so I reached up and grabbed it off our only bedside table. Turns out it wasn't ringing but he got a text message. It said something about a case and him needing to be in by 7 it also had local thrown in their somewhere. I was too tired to really make any sense of it without either a large cut of coffee or a good hour of waking up. I shook Spencer and the second his eyes were opened I shoved the phone into his chest before turning around and falling back asleep.

 **Let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

The next month and a half was pretty much hell. I didn't understand exactly what was happening after the diagnoses. I hadn't felt weird, everything for me was completely normal. Afterwards, when they put me on bed-rest is when things started getting bad. Spencer didn't like leaving me alone while he went to work but the fact that a nurse came by twice a day made him feel better about it. The medication they put me on helped with the blood pressure but not with my issues concerning addiction. I don't know if it was the drug itself or just the action of popping the pill in my mouth every morning. Whenever the time came that I needed to take it I felt the familiar burning sensation in my arms. Begging me to relieve the pain like I used to. I didn't tell Spencer though.

I didn't want him to worry, not when it was something that I could handle on my own. I knew that if he thought for even a second that I had a chance of relapsing then he would never leave me alone. Not until the cravings subsided completely. Every time I felt the burning itch start, I would lean on my arm and focus all of my energy on anything else. It didn't matter what.

Despite all of his out of town jobs, Spencer has been able to make every doctors appointment. I'm not sure how but he has. They have been calling me in every week to make sure that everything was going like it was supposed to. They were giving me steroids to make her lungs grow faster, they measured her size every week and were trying to put off the C-section as long as they could, they wanted to make sure that both of lived though this. The really scary thing was that she wasn't growing like they said she should. She was moving very slow and it didn't help with my worrying. I still wasn't showing that alone was unsettling it didn't matter how much the doctor and Spencer explained to me that due to her size and how physically fit I am it made sense that I wasn't showing. As far as I'm concerned I should be about to pop.

Spencer was very excited to hear that we were having a girl. I know he was a little worried abut having a boy. He didn't tell me exactly how he felt about the whole thing but I knew that it had something to do with his father. I wanted to ask him about it but at the same time didn't want to make him upset, not when him and I didn't have much time together. I myself was more worried about having a girl vs having a boy. I could deal with boys all day and night but a girl was on a whole different level.

Spencer calls me every hour, on the hour when he was away. He had already threatened to call the paramedics if I didn't answer. He wasn't playing around, not with this. It got kind of old real quick but at the same time it was really sweet and I looked forward to his call. Before he left he always made sure that there was plenty of food for me. One of the only kind of good things that happened was the fact that Gideon didn't travel nearly as much as Spencer so he has been spending a lot of time here keeping me company.

When Spencer came home I was half asleep. Something that I've been doing a lot, it's not like I had much else to do. He looked a hell of a lot more tired then he normally did. I was awake enough to know that it was him, but asleep enough not to move when he came in the room. I heard the bathroom door open and him turn on the shower. When he got out I heard his phone beep and him sigh. He got dressed and left again.

All Spencer wanted to do was go home and go to sleep. He hadn't even been at work today. He had to finish up things at the academy. They were reviewing his work in the field and making sure that they made the right choice in waving most of the fitness requirements. He had been stressing about it all day, if they decided that it wasn't working then he would be out of a job and there isn't any way he would be able to support Addison's medical bills and especially not a baby who had a very high chance of needing special medical care after being born.

He hadn't told Addison about it, worrying wasn't something she needed to be doing. He had been more then ecstatic when they liked what they saw. Didn't mean that he wasn't exhausted when it was all said and done. Adding on to everything that went on that day, he hadn't been sleeping very well at home anyway. He spent most of the night making sure Addison was okay.

When he got to work the first thing he did was get some of the coffee that always seemed to be available. He filled most of the cup with sugar and added a splash of coffee to go with it. He hadn't been drinking any at home since Addison had to stop. He took all of it out of the house, including the maker. She didn't know where he put it and he could tell that not having any was really starting to bother her.

"You look like you're about to fall over." Morgan made the comment when as Spencer moved into the room. He sat down, not giving the comment any mind and got ready for the information on the case.

Three missing women, two bodies and no suspects. Spencer was at his whits end. There wasn't any evidence that he could connect to anything concrete, mixed with his lack of sleep and the fact that he hasn't heard from Addison's nurse yet was slowly driving him insane. Every time his phone buzzed he would reach for it automatically. To most people it wouldn't be all that weird but to the agents who've had to remind him that the thing even went off found the anxiety leaking off the younger man a little odd.

"You expecting a phone call?" Sampson was the one to ask. Spencer wasn't sure how to feel about him. His face almost always looked angry. The question caused Spencer to jump slightly.

"I should be getting one soon." He answered, going back to staring at the map he had on a mobile white board. He was trying to find a connection to where he had dumped all the bodies. The only thing other then them all being very close was that fact that his apartment building was dead smack in the middle of them. He didn't like Addison being so close to all of it. As if thinking about her made what he was waiting for happened, his phone buzzed again, this time ringing. He excused himself and walked out of the briefing room where they decided to take up shop. He didn't feel the need to move any farther then about five feet away from the door.

"Hello?" He said into the receiver.

"Hi, this is Kathy. I'm the nurse that tended to Addison Winchester tonight." The women greeted. Addison thought it was a little redundant that they had to call Spencer when she could just tell him whatever they told her. But considering she labeled Spencer as her medical proxy he got what he wanted when it came to how he received information. It wasn't that he didn't think she could relay it, he just wanted to hear from the source and ask his questions without delay.

"Yes, is everything alright? Was there any major changes with her status?"

"It looked like her blood pressure is going back up like we thought. If it's any higher in the morning I feel it would be best to take her back to the hospital so they can keep a closer eye on her. I'm surprised that they haven't done it yet." Spencer could hear the honesty in her voice.

"Is it just her blood pressure?"

"She has some swelling in her ankles due to water retention, that's another thing I'm worried about. She seems to be in a good mood other then being a little tired. I wouldn't worry about her to much tonight but I'm making a note about taking her to the hospital in the morning for the next nurse. If the swelling in her ankles is worse as well as her BP then there is a very good chance that they will operate." That was exactly what he didn't want to hear.

"Did you tell her the possibility of them operating them tomorrow?"

"I told her that it could happen."

"Thanks." They ended the conversation at that and he went back to work. Addison hadn't called him, she normally didn't while he was at work, so he was pretty sure that she went back to sleep. That normally kept her from calling him. He did text Gideon to see if he would go stay with her tonight. He didn't want her being alone.

Now he had to worry about being with her at the hospital in the morning. Aaron told him to take as much time as he needed when it came to Addison's doctors appointments and Spencer had warned him that she could go into surgery almost at a moments notice and that he could have to leave at the same speed. Didn't matter where they were. He was a little thankful that it might happen when he was in town. Not all the way across the county. He set his phone down on the table and went back to focusing on the case. Both other agents looked at him oddly but Spencer didn't offer up any information and they didn't ask for any.

When Gideon came I had been sleeping on the couch. He brought some board games and cards with him. He didn't like using our deck of cards because he was convinced that Spencer and I rigged the deck somehow.

One thing that I liked about Gideon was that he never pushed for information. He waited until you wanted to talk about it before asking questions or making his assumptions know. When Spencer first introduced me to him, I had been very worried about him taking me right back to my father. Spencer assured me that he would make sure Gideon knew that my running away had been in my best interest.

He had helped Spencer get everything that he needed to help me heal, and he agreed not to ship me back home as long as I got off the drugs. He was patient about it, he understood that it wasn't something that would happen quickly and knew that I would have relapses and roadblocks. I considered Gideon just as much as a paternal figure in my life as Spencer did.

"How are you feeling?" He set the bag he brought down on the coffee table. I groggily moved my feet out of his way. I rubbed my eyes and yawned a few times before I realized that he was really hear. It was a feeling that I was unfamiliar with. Normally I would be shocked awake at the presence of a new person. Spencer was the only one that could sneak up on me while I was sleeping, I guess Gideon has been added onto that list.

"What?"

"How are you feeling?" His face held a small smile but I knew that was just his natural face around Spencer and I. I wasn't sure if he did it to cover something up or if we just relaxed him in a weird way.

"Peachy." He chuckled. "I want to leave this apartment and go somewhere else, anywhere else." I pushed my hair back out of my face only for the light blond hair to fall right back to where it was. "I hate this place." Something about living underneath and on top of someone else, having to pass people in a hallway just to get to my home made me angry. I didn't like having to watch the amount of noise I wanted to make, I didn't like having to walk down five flights of stairs just to get outside. If someone broke in here it would be nearly impossible to shoot them, there would always be the fear of the bullet going right through the wall and hitting an innocent person on the other side.

"Spencer was talking about looking for a new place after the lease on this one was up."

"I told him that we wouldn't be staying here for another two years. I don't even know why he signed it for two years to begin with." My voice was grouchy, even in my sleepy state I could hear it loud and clear.

"He been pretty worried about you."

"I've been worried about him. He hasn't been sleeping you know? He just watches me sleep, waiting for me to either not wake up or to start screaming. I don't know how to make him relax. I'm scared that he's going to work himself up to the point where he gets himself hurt, or worse, at work." I pulled my feet underneath me. "Hopefully once the kid pops out he'll take a few chill pills."

"I'm sure he'll relax once he doesn't feel that your life or well being is compromised." He reached into the bag that he brought with him and pulled out a pie. I couldn't tell what kind it was just from then tin but it didn't matter. He also pulled out a fork, handing both of them to me. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I happily took the items from his hands.

"Why thank you." I popped off the plastic top and dug right inside. He laughed again and leaned back in the couch. He waited what seemed to be a few minutes before saying anything else.

"Spencer told me the two of you were having a girl." The food in my mouth seemed to have a bit of extra gravity to it and fell right out of my mouth.

"He did?" I pushed the food to the edge of the tin and took another bite from the opposite side.

"He did."

"Well he's right. A little baby girl who will more then likely be arrested a good number of time before her 18th birthday if she's anything like me or my family." Gideon knew that my father never had a lot of respect for the law but he didn't know the extent in which he went out of his way to break it.

"I'm sure you and Spencer will give her the love and attention she needs to grow into a nice, respectable member of society."

"Are you saying that I'm not a respectable member of society?" I was being sarcastic but he gave me an answer anyway.

"You're getting there." His tone was teasing but at the same time I could hear the little bit of seriousness that was laying underneath. "But I really don't think you two have anything to worry about. Any kid would be lucky to have the two of you as parents. I also think that it would be a good idea to get in contact with your family, let them be involved with this part of your life. They might be more understanding then you think."

"You obviously have never met my father." I took another large bite. "My oldest brother listens to my father like he is God on earth. My other brother, I don't even know but I can't pick and choose who I contact, if I want one I get all three and I'm just not ready for all three."

"Actually, you might be able to." My face must have been question enough because he quickly added, "I did a little research, your brother Samuel is attending college in California at Stanford University." My look must not have changed. He reached into the bag he brought out a piece of paper. He handed it to me. It was a phone number.

"From what I can tell he doesn't seem to be in contact with the rest of your family. He's been there for about three years, almost four. I think that it would be a good idea for you to contact him, I think it would help you a lot more then you realize."

"You looked in my family?" I sat up straighter and I couldn't tell if I was angry or not. "Did Spencer know that you were doing this?" Now the answer to this question was going to be the deciding factor with my anger.

"No, I didn't talk about it with him, I didn't want to put him in the bad position of having to keep something from you in any way, shape, or form." I felt a little bit of the steam fall out. "Addison, I understand you have a lot on your plate at the moment but I really believe that talking to at least one member of your family could help with you nightmares and all the pent up guilt you have from leaving."

 **Should she contact Sam? If so what do you think his reaction should be? Remember, she had a lot of problems before she left and she left a lot of medication around the motel room. Just some food for thought.**


	6. Chapter 6

I crumpled the paper against my skin and watched the sun peak over the buildings next door to our apartment building. Gideon was sleeping out on the couch while I sat in Spencer and I's room, waiting on the lovely nurse to come in and decide whether or not I would be birthing a child later today. Spencer was still as work and from what I can tell he wont be coming home any time soon. According to the news they found yet another body, this one was found even closer to the apartment.

I thought about calling the number, hell I even dialed the number in the phone about five times. I really can't believe that Sam had gotten out and was going to school like I am, well like I was. I almost couldn't believe how close he was to me all this time, he left almost a year after I did and ended up less then ten hours away from where I was camped out.

"Addison." Gideon popped his head into the room as if to make sure I wasn't sleeping. "Your nurse is here." I nodded and got up to meet her in the living room, already knowing what was about to happen. She was reading the notes that the other women left for her.

"How ya feeling?"

"Same as I have been. I'm just a little tired all the time." She nodded with a large smile on her face. I could already tell that she was going to be one of the perky ones. Not that there was anything wrong with that but I have a hard time not offending nice people with my lack of happy social skills. I sat down on the couch as she got all her supplies out. Gideon was sitting in Spencer's reading chair.

"Has the swelling gone down any?" I propped my feet on the coffee table as an answer. She did the same thing that the nurse the night before did and had the same troubled look. She got out the blood pressure cuff and began wrapping it around my upper arm. That look still didn't remove itself from her face, giving me a very good idea what was about to come out of her mouth.

"Not looking good?"

"I think it's best we get you somewhere they can keep a better eye on you."

0000

I couldn't help but get more worked up the longer I was in the room. Gideon was coming in and out of the room on his phone. They wanted him to come in of some kind of bomber case. No one would let me watch the news so I wasn't sure. He had already promised Spencer that he wouldn't leave me alone here so he was trying to get them off his case until he could leave. His promise to Spencer was the only thing keeping Spencer from rushing right over here to sit and stress out with me. Of course he didn't foresee himself getting called in.

From what I understand my doctor was trying to get them to operate as soon as he could find a space in someone's schedule. He found someone but they said they wouldn't do it until my BP reached a certain point. Spencer continued to call every time he had a moment to see if any changes had been made, but so far everything has stayed the same. I was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that at this time tomorrow, Spencer and I would be parents.

When I ran away from home, I didn't see myself surviving long enough to have kids. I figured that I would more then likely end up overdosing in some dark ally. Or just straight up shooting myself. When I met Spencer, I never thought that it would be anything more then just a place to chill for a few weeks, I didn't think we would ever be in a relationship or having a kid in less then five years of meeting.

I didn't think I'd ever end up loving a fed. Dad biggest house rule was to never grab the attention of a cop that you weren't trying to get information out of. I feel like living and having a baby with an FBI agent does more then just break that rule. Then again I also ran away so his rules don't seem to apply to me.

I was worried about the baby as well, the doctors weren't sure if I was 32 weeks alone or 34. Apparently the difference between the two was enough to be stressing out Spencer and if he was worried about it then I feel that I should be to, at least a little bit. And on top of that all, I was still battling the decision on whether or not to call my brother. Every time Gideon saw me typing in the number he would give me a knowing look but wouldn't say anything about it. I even asked him if he thought I should wait, but he gave me that stupid 'do what you think is best' shit. Making me want to hit him.

So that's what I'm doing now, looking down at the number I typed into my phone, deciding if I should hit call or not. I was trying to think about how he would react. Would he call Dad? Dean? Would he rush over here to yell at me, would he just hang up the phone and hate me for what I did? Would he even care? I had no idea what they think happened, I couldn't even begin to think how much trouble Sam might have been in with Dad for leaving me alone. Not that he could have saw my leaving coming. Then again I feel like they should have seen the attempt in suicide coming.

I took a deep breath and hit call, go big or go home and since I'm not allowed to go home at this second in time, might as well go big. I pressed it to my ear and listened to it ring. Once, twice, three times and I thought it was going to g to voicemail.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end sounded confused, more then likely making the choice against letting the unfamiliar number continue to ring. I almost hung up the phone.

"Is this….is this Sam Winchester?" I questioned, listening to the sounds coming from both heart monitors, one for me and one for the baby. I thought about claiming to be one of those survey people and just have him hang up on me.

"Yeah, who is this?" Again I thought about my answer.

"Okay, you're not allowed to be mad at me." I said quickly. "I can explain everything." I added.

"Okay….I didn't get a name." He said and I heard my heart begin to beat faster.

"It's Addison…." There was silence that lasted almost a full minute and I was beginning to wonder if he hung up. I was really scared that he was going to start yelling, which I found a little weird. Why do people get scared of being yelled at? All it is, is really loud talking. More then likely having to do with the amount of anger needed to get to that point or something like that. I'd ask Spencer later.

"I swear to God if this is some kind of joke….Who is this? Did….did Dean put you up to this?" I was a little surprised to hear the pain in his voice. I couldn't sop myself from flinching rather harshly from the tone. The comment about Dean got me to, did he really think Dean would do something that obviously caused him so much pain.

"This isn't a joke. It's really me." I said it slowly, as if the speed I was speaking would prove my identity. There was silence again. "I'm sorry." It was lame and I knew it but I wasn't sure what else to say to fill the haunting weight of the air in the room. It wasn't until I looked down that I noticed my nails were digging into my elbow enough to draw blood. "Shit." It wasn't bad, but it did get on the blankets.

"What happened." Sam's voice was a little panicked.

"It's nothing, just a scratch." I looked around the room and you would think that being in the hospital would make it easier to find something to clean it up with. I didn't need them coming in here and giving me something to 'calm down'. I was already worried about the pain medication they were going to try and give me to help though the procedure. I didn't want to relapse and become addicted to something that a doctor gave me. I don't care how much pain I'm in. Spencer said that I could deny meds right after I wake up and he said that if I wanted to be on them that he would make sure that I don't get out of hand. "I'm just a little jumpy." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"What did Dad Give you for you're ninth birthday?" He asked in a demanding tone and I pressed my hands into the crook of my arm. I rolled my eyes at the obvious trick question.

"Dad wasn't there for my ninth birthday, you and Dean got me a hot pink switchblade." I answered. I still had the knife buried deep in the bottom of my underwear drawer. Spencer had attempted to remove all my sharp objects after I went a little crazy during one of my relapses, I managed to keep that one hidden, I still haven't gotten the other ones back. Sam was silent, if it wasn't for the fact that I could hear him breathing then I would have thought he hung up.

"Where are you? What's all the beeping in the background?" He asked tightly. I could hear the emotion in his voice, there was defiantly some pain there but it was overwhelmed by relief.

"I'm in Virginia, I'm in a hospital right outside of Washington." I said the last part a little lowly as if not wanting him to hear.

"Hospital?" He questioned, I could hear him moving things around in the background. I heard a girl's voice as well but I couldn't make out what she was saying. I leaned back into the pillows and pressed my eyes shut as the reality of what I was doing. I was going against almost everything that I meant to do when I ran away. I was talking to my brother.

"It's a long story." I sighed.

"Well you can tell me when I get there." He said, I heard the sound of a suitcase being zipped shut. I could hear my heart monitor speed up before I felt it.

"What? No, that's okay. You don't have to come here." I shook my head like he could see me, "lets just catch up over the phone, a nice safe distance." There was a pause before he said anything.

"Addison, I'm coming. I've thought you were dead for the last five years."

"My doctor said that I should be avoiding stressful situations."

"Why would me coming be stressful? Do you think I'm going to yell at you? Addison, I basically ran away to, I haven't spoken to Dad in almost four years, three years since Dean. I'm not…..I'm not- I'm sure you have a good reason, 13-year-old's don't just run off for the fun of it." He took a deep breath, "why are you in the hospital?"

"I um…." I didn't really want t say it, it still wasn't completely real to me and I didn't want Sam to freak out over the phone. I didn't want him to freak out at all. He was the least likely in my family to get angry at this, at least that was the case when I left. Five years is a long time not to see someone. "Can I tell you when you get here? I don't, don't think it's to life threatening-"

"To life threatening?"

"Spencer said I have good odds! Its not low risk but he thinks I'll be okay. As long as everything goes like the doctors want it and my body reacts like its supposed to then I'll be fine, stuck in this god damned hell hole for a few weeks maybe but I'll be fine." I looked down at my stomach and thought about just how fucked up this phone call would be if I died. He would have to grieve all over again. Sam was quiet for a few moments.

"Whose Spencer? He your doctor?" I laughed, it was the first time I've laughed since watching Spencer trying to put the crib together. Things have been far to serious in my opinion, I don't think you should worry about things that are outside of your reach, the things you can't control. If you focus all your time and energy on those then you don't have any time to appreciate the things in front of you. And if that big bad thing at the end of your one way tunnel ends up killing you, then what was the point of living at all if you wasted all the time you did get?

"He's a doctor but not a medical one, he know a lot about things though." I didn't want to come out and just tell him over the phone, I feel like just hearing from me is enough of a shock. I didn't want to keep piling things on top of him. I could tell that answer confused him and I rolled my eyes. "We'll talk when you get here." I assured, the humor seeping out of my voice and my stomach began to crawl at the thought of seeing him for the first time since I ran away. He hung up the phone so he could buy a plane ticket and asked me to text him the information of where I was. My fingers shook as I typed in what he needed, all I could think about was what he would say when he got here, how he would react to hearing about Spencer and I as well as the baby that could easily been here when Sam arrived.

Spencer came for his lunch brake at about one in the afternoon. He didn't bring any food thanks to the fact they had me on an all liquids diet. Gideon stepped out again while Spencer was here and I quickly told him about calling Sam. He listened intently, my hand in his, as I recounted everything that was said.

"I'm glad." Spencer said after I finished, "this was very big step and I'm proud that you went thought with it. Based on what he said I really think that you don't have anything to worry about." He smiled at me. "Do you know when he'll be arriving?"

I don't know if he could have gotten a plane for tonight with such a late notice, maybe on in the morning if he was lucky." I took a deep breath after becoming aware of just how fast my heart was beating. "I want him to like you." I said, bringing his hand up to the side of my face. I knew that my dad would more then likely wouldn't like Spencer, mostly because he's always had a strong belief about how men and woman should act in a relationship, I feel like it's mostly stemmed from his childhood in Kansas but it is what it is. Spencer didn't say anything to that, I knew that he was more then likely nerves to meet Sam.

All he knew about him were stories from when I was a kid, not the most reliable things to base an opinion on. We spent the rest of his time talking about his case, not about anything that hadn't been released to the press but enough for me to feel his frustration. When it was time for him to go back I kind wanted to tell him to call out, to wait with me but at the same time I thought about the people that were dying and they needed him more. Gideon was cool to talk to anyway.

Five hours later they decided it was time, my BP was low enough and all they had to do was put me on the schedule. I would be a mom in less then two hours if everything went well.

00000

Sam slumped into one of the plastic chairs as he waited for his plane. He packed enough clothes to fit in his carry on and that was about it. Jess had been pretty alarmed when he began rushing around the apartment, looking and packing his things. After getting off the phone he briefly explained the situation to her. He hadn't told her much about Addison, just enough to tell her that he hasn't seen her since she disappeared at 13. Jess was both surprised to hear that she called him and happy that he was reconnecting with someone in his family. She was a little anxious to hear what could make a little girl run away like that as well.

Sam didn't know what to think. Addison's not 13 anymore, at this point she would be about 18. The more he thought about it, the more he realized just how different she was over the phone then she had been back when they were all together. She sounded more lively, even though she sounded scared and worried she still had more emotion in her voice then she ever did before. He wanted to know why she was in the hospital, he couldn't think of a reason unless she got hurt. Did she get attacked by monsters? Did she need help with a case or something? He was hoping not but if she needed him to then he would.

He somehow managed to get a last minuet flight for midnight. He paid a lot more then he wanted to but at the same time money wasn't what he was worried about. It wasn't even a good seat, he got stuck between two old men, one that smelled almost as bad as death itself and the other one had a serious case of snoring that Sam thought should get checked out by a doctor. While on the plane he thought about calling Dean and letting him know that Addison was alive, maybe not okay but alive. Dean had taken it the worst when she disappeared, both from Dad and himself.

Sam was the one to find the drugs in the bathroom. He wasn't sure what they were, even to this day, but he had an idea what she was going to be using them for. She left most of her stuff, including evidence of more drug use: needles, small crumbs of white powder in a bag that had been shoved to the bottom, empty pill bottles and a few other things. Sam had always had a suspicion that she was doing something. He knew she was drinking because Dad let her, he let all of them if they wanted. Right before she left he had decided to go to college, he was going to talk with her about coming with him when he went but he never got the chance to.

When Dean realized she was gone he shattered the bathroom mirror completely, not even bothering to clean the glass out of his hand until an hour or two later. Dad started yelling at Sam for leaving her alone in the first place, Sam fought back, yelling that she wouldn't have felt the need to abuse all the drugs if she had a more stable household.

They looked for her for about six months without any delay. Not that it worked, there wasn't any trace for them to follow. She didn't use credit cards, it was before cell phones were all over the place so they couldn't track her though that. She didn't go to anyone they knew and even with every hunter Dad could get a-hold of out looking for her she remained gone. Dad finally decided that she was more then likely dead and went back to the place they were when she went missing. He combed the woods around he motel, thinking that if she took the drugs and did overdose that she might have wandered there so they wouldn't find her body. He searched ever inch, looked under every rock and came out empty handed. The year after that Sam left for college. Things had gotten even worse between all the men, Dean was following Dad even more faithfully, drowning himself in saving people, trying to get rid of the guilt he had for not helping Addison when he could, he always thought she would work her way out of her depression, go back to the bubbly little girl she been before.

Sam had been pretty sure she was Dead, or would be if she continued to use the drugs he saw, if she left all of that, how much had she taken with her? Part of him wondered if that was why she was in the hospital? Did she overdose and this is the first time she's been level headed enough to call him? He knew that he should have called Dean right after hanging up, no matter what they had going on between them at the moment, but he wanted to see her first and then decided. He knew that if he told Dean then Dad would now and that would cause a huge fight between all of them, he needed facts and to let her explain herself before anything else.

 **Yay! Next chapter is up, hopefully I'll be uploading to my other stories this weekend as well. Tell me what you think?**


	7. Chapter 7

Something about staring at the light blue sheet and knowing that they were cutting me open on the other side of the sheet put me off. They let Spencer inside the room and I could tell that he was having a hard time as well. He was sitting in a chair next to my head, one hand in mine and the other one was moving periodically though my hair. He was mumbling things softy; I caught a few quotes here and there that I recognized but he moved onto the next one before I had a chance to place them.

"Everything's going to be alright." I said, squeezing his hand tighter. I couldn't feel anything lower then my chest. Even the tips of my fingers were a little numb. The medication they had me on felt like a thick fog inside my mind. I could only focus on one thing at a time, but it didn't seem like I had a choice on what my mind chose to focus on. He didn't say anything. He almost seemed more worried then I felt. I knew that he was worried about his mother's sickness getting not only passed down to him, but also to our daughter. I didn't know how to make him feel better about that. I couldn't tell him that there wasn't a chance because there is, a small chance, but it's there. I tried reminding him about that, but he always found a way to make it seem more plausible.

When they were prepping me, one of my nurses was telling me about the procedure, one that she's had before. She had told me that she was confidant our kid would come out fine. She had overseen the ultrasounds and said that everything looked okay, in fact she said it looked better then what they were making to out to be. That she had seen worse cases have happy endings. Spencer liked hearing the news but that didn't stop him from sweating bullets right beside me as they took a sharp knife to my gut.

Him and I hadn't talked much about the actual baby. The only things that him and I got for her was a crib, some clothes and a few packs of diapers. This still didn't seem real to the two of us. The sound of doctors moving around and talking hurriedly on the other side of the curtain pulled me from my thoughts. The sound of crying followed.

"What's going on? Crying's good right?" I pulled on Spencer's hand even though I already had his attention. He peered around the sheet, looking over what was going on. He came back around after a few seconds.

"Everything's fine, they need to make sure she's okay. Yes, crying's good." That didn't stop my panic though. He sat back down. "Calm down." His attitude seemed to do a whole 180. He was suddenly calm and ready. The doctors were still talking to one another and there was still crying.

"Go to her." I pushed his arm towards the sheet.

"Add-"

"I'll calm down if you're with her." That worked, and he moved back on the other side of the curtain. I tried to do as I said I would, but it was harder then I thought. I forced myself to focus on the crying. As long as she was crying, then everything would be okay. She's breathing. I heard Spencer talking but for the life of me, I couldn't make out the words. After what felt like years Spencer reappeared on my side of the curtain, this time a small bundle in his arms. I found myself trying to sit up, only for the doctor to say something on the other side and I remembered they had cut me open on the other side. Spencer sat back down in his chair.

She was still screaming her head off, her face a bright red charry color. Her fists were balled up tightly that she moved around as she saw fit. I would have asked to hold her, but I didn't trust the numbness in my hands to support her, so I settled with touching her, her face, her arms, anywhere. I would have thought her being safely in front of me would calm me down, but I felt an entirely new emotion fill me completely. It was suddenly very real. I could see her in his arms, I could touch her with my fingers, I could hear her cries.

Fear ate at my chest; how could I take care of her? She was so tiny, so delicate and helpless. I don't know how long we sat there before the doctors wanted to take her and move me back into my room. They were taking her into the nursey where they were going to run some tests. Part of me wanted to take her out of the nurse's hands and not let her leave the room but Spencer wrapped a hand in mine.

"They'll bring her back." He assured.

0000

The pain medication wore off less then five hours after they got me back into my room. I slept for most of it. Each time I woke up, more pain pulsed though my body then the time before. Spencer was there each time I woke up, sitting in the chair next to me. I remember him holding the baby some of the time as well. Spencer held true to not letting them put me on any more medication and even though I would have been happy to have it, I was thankful that he was there to keep my thoughts straight and remind me why I didn't need it. Gideon had wanted to stay from what I understand but now that Spencer was here, he no longer had a reason to give them. As much as Spencer considered him a father figure, he had no blood relation to me or our daughter. So, he had to go into work.

"Hey." Spencer's voice pulled my sleep ridden attention onto him. I wasn't sure what time it was, and I didn't know how long I had been asleep. Spencer was sitting in the chair next to my bed, it didn't look very comfortable. Had I been in less pain, I would have offered to let him in bed with me. I glanced around the room, looking for the baby we have yet to think of a name for. "They're just doing some routine tests." He said calmly. "The nurse will bring her back as soon as possible." Despite the happy look on his face, I could see the puffy bags under his eyes.

"Is she okay?"

"Doctor said she was perfectly healthy. She's a good weight for premature, she can breathe on her own, she's having a little difficultly keeping her body temperature, but I've been holding her most of the time. That's been working." This was the calmest I have seen him since we found out about being pregnant. It was like a gigantic weight had been lifted off his shoulders and for me it felt like three hundred pounds had been added onto mine.

Six months, that's all the time I had until the bastard came. It didn't matter how much Spencer said it wouldn't, he didn't know. I could explain the supernatural to him all he wants, and he still wouldn't be able to grasp the feeling I had burning away at my heart. I didn't realize I was crying until he started brushing tears away.

"We'll figure everything out." He assured.

"I want to see her." Just as I said it, the nurse came back into the room. A sleeping baby in her hands. The nurse, Amelia, smiled at me brightly.

"It's nice to see you awake." I didn't even have to reach my hands out for her to know what I wanted. Her skin was so soft, I felt like my touching her would break her into a million pieces. She had very thin baby hair on the top of her head, and she slept with her lips parted in what looked to be a perfect 'o'. Spencer was right about her being a nice weight, her cheeks were beyond chubby, and her arms and legs matched. A noise resembling a giggle left my lips.

"What is it?" Spencer questioned softly, almost like he didn't want to interrupt.

"She's so chubby." I grazed my thumb over her cheek, "and it's freaking adorable." Spencer joined in my amusement, pulling his chair even closer to the bed. Also reaching out to touch her.

"We need to think of a name."

0000

Sam's flight ended up with a three-hour layover, he tried to text Addison to let her know, but she didn't answer. When he finally got on the flight that would take him to his desired town he was ready to snap on someone. It felt like the longer he took, the less likely she would be there when he arrived, even though she blatantly admitted that she couldn't leave the hospital for whatever reason.

He also had time to really think everything over. He needed to keep in mind that the person he was going to see was his sister, but it had been a very long time since he had spoken to her last. He didn't know what to expect but he was hoping that he could keep the meeting as civilized as possible. From the way she was speaking to him, it sounded like that's what she wanted as well. He was also prepared for the worst. There was a huge chance that she's been on heavy drugs for the last five years like she had been before, and he was completely prepared to figure out the best way to get her into a better situation.

Jess had been pretty supportive in him coming. Sam had told her about Addison, that she had up and disappeared. He hadn't gone into the details about the drugs, but Jess had guessed as much, based on the stories Sam had shared about his father.

When his plane landed he didn't expect someone to be waiting for him and all he had on him was carry on. He didn't even stop at the bathroom before finding the exit and hailing a taxi. The driver had tried to speak to him, but Sam wasn't in the right frame of mind to hold a decent conversation. The hospital was also very close to the air port so even though Sam had had hours to prepare himself for this meeting, he found the short car ride to be far to quick.

"Here ya go." Sam jumped in the backseat, realizing that it was time.

"Thanks." He tipped the driver more than he normally would, feeling bad for the shortness that Sam had shown him. Sam's heartbeat scared him slightly as he made his way into the elevator, hitting the floor that she had given him. Hearing her voice was one thing, seeing her in person after thinking she was dead for so long was going to be…. he couldn't think of a word to describe it.

When he stepped out of the metal box, he was more then surprised to find himself in the maternity ward. He mindlessly moved to the front desk where he was supposed to check in or something. He would have thought to do that down stairs, but he had been so distracted he went straight to the elevator.

"What can I do for you sir?" The woman at the front desk questioned, smiling up at him while Sam forced on in return.

"I'm uh…. looking for my sister." He said, his tone becoming more confident by the time he finished his small sentence. "Addison Winchester." She nodded, typing the name into her computer.

"She will be down this hall," She pointed to her left. "In room 241. It will be on your right." She smiled, and Sam moved in the direction she sent him. As the numbers on the doors increased, Sam felt his heart begin to beat faster. He became more anxious. He was scared of what he was going to find but at the same time was more then happy to know that she was alive. That she was okay enough to call and speak to him in a clear manner. He found the room, it was the only one that had an open door.

He could hear talking inside, he recognized Addison's voice but there was also a man's that he didn't. He wasn't sure if he should just walk in or if he should knock. Part of him just wanted to listen to her. It took him almost a full five minutes before he moved in front of the open door, knocking his knuckles against it to grab the attention of the people inside. Sam and Addison watched one another for what felt like years. Nether of them knew what to say.

He hadn't known what to expect but a baby sure wasn't on the list of possibilities. Yet, here she sat, all grown up, a baby wrapped up securely in her arms. Sam took a step closer, getting out of the doorway. The man sitting next to her cleared his throat.

"I think I'm going to grab some food." Addison didn't stop him. He kissed her on the head and brushed his fingers over the baby's cheek before moving around Sam and out the door. She wanted to ask him to take the baby, but her head and her body disagreed because she made no move to question it.

"Who…." Sam asked after he was out of earshot.

"That's Spencer…." She licked her lips nervously. Sam took another step closer to the bed, not knowing what to do. It was one of the most awkward situations that he had ever found himself in. The tension in the room was getting to Addison as well. "You can uh…you can sit down." She chewed on the inside of her lip. He set his bag down on the floor at the foot of the bed and sat in the seat the man had been in before.

"Is that… _your_ baby?" Sam looked at the sleeping infant.

"Yes." If Sam's mind hadn't been completely blown by the information overload he's received in this short amount of time, it sure was now. Addison could tell it was a lot to take in and she didn't want to overwhelm him. She wanted this to go as smoothly as possible, and so far, it was. No yelling was good. "She was a bit of a surprise." She thought about asking him some questions about school, getting the conversation going but it was like something in her mouth refused to let her speak. She couldn't form a question in her mind. "Would you like to hold her?" She didn't even realize she was asking until she heard herself talk.

"I uh…I don't think that would be a good idea, I'd probably drop her." He shook his head.

"I don't think you will," Addison said, "then again if I wasn't laying down right now I would probably drop her to. So, don't feel bad." Sam let out an awkward laugh. "We haven't thought of a name yet, there was a lot of…stuff going on at the time." Sam just listened to her speak. She didn't talk nearly this much while she had been with them, hell, trying to get her to say anything was like pulling teeth. "Spencer mentioned a few names, but I think they're boring. She needed something badass."

"Badass?" Sam smiled.

"Yeah!" She nodded. "Something tough. I don't know."

"How long have you and uh, Spencer been together?"

"I've known him for almost five years, but we've only been together for two." They were now getting into the questioning portion of the visit and Addison was becoming more nervous. She didn't want to talk about the drugs. She hadn't explained herself in a long time and when she had before, it hadn't been someone she abandoned.

"So, the whole time?"

"Yeah, I met him about a month after I left. He was getting attacked by a werewolf. I had been…" she took a deep breath, "I had been looking for a case to…I didn't want to make it out in the end. Dad had always said that killing yourself was a copout, so I was going to find something to do it for me." Sam kept quiet, but his body tensed up. "But I killed the damn thing and got cut up pretty bad. Spencer didn't have any idea what was going on, so he took me back to his house." She shrugged, and the action caused her to flinch from the pain in her abdomen.

"What's wrong?"

"I just had surgery." She explained, "they cut her out of me. The pain meds wore off."

"Do you want me to get a doctor?"

"No, I don't need any." She shook her head, keeping her body still until shocks of pain subsided to a tolerable level. She took shallow breaths and softly lied back into the pillows.

"Maybe you should-"

"I don't need them." She said in a hard tone. "I'm fine…its better if I just don't." Her voice sounded strained and a little breathy. Sam suddenly understood her reasoning behind it. He licked his lips. "Just ask." She said, watching his face, "lets just rip the band-aid off."

"The drugs." He said, "we found a lot in the bathroom and some in your bags." He wasn't sure what he wanted to know but her explanation might answer the question.

"Yeah…I…I was. They helped with the nightmares I was having. I would either get so high that I just passed out into a dreamless sleep or…I don't know. It was a distraction from all the monsters. That's not an excuse, there were better ways I could have helped myself but at the time it was the only thing I thought would help."

"We should have payed more attention and did something about it, you shouldn't have had to handle it on your own, you were a kid. Looking back there were some warning signs we didn't think about. You were just so detached, you didn't talk, you never smiled, we just…Dad refused to get you help, all he did was make it worse by letting you drink." They were silent for a minute.

"Spencer helped me." She said, she felt the need to make sure Sam liked him. She knew that Spencer was worried about it slightly. It wasn't like the Winchesters were the most welcoming people in the world. Addison herself tended to come off as rough and mean when first meeting someone. Sam was probably the warmest out of all of them.

"He did?"

"Yeah…he, he has a sort of mentor in the FBI, Jason Gideon. Well, when Spencer introduced me to him, it he was obviously wondering where my parents were and it's not like I was old enough to claim emancipation and he had the resources to check if I was for real anyway. So, I told him the truth and asked him not to report me."

"Isn't that really illegal?" Sam asked even though he knew the answer.

"Yeah, but he realized that it going back would be the worst thing for me at the time, so he made me a deal. He said if I got off the drugs he would make sure that I didn't get caught, get me into school and anything else I needed." She took a deep breath and made a small grimace. "Spencer helped me…he helped me stay off them, took care of me as I detoxed. It was really hard. I've, been on my own for five years but I've only been completely clean for a little over a year."

"But you're clean now."

"Yeah…I'm clean."

"I brought you some water." Spencer appeared in front of the doorway, holding a bottle of water, "I spoke to your doctor, he said it should be fine." Addison could tell that he wasn't sure if he should have come just yet, but he wanted to check on her, make sure everything was going okay.

"Thanks." He took that as an okay to come in. He moved to the other side of the bed where Sam wasn't and gave the both of them a strained smile. He didn't know what he was supposed to be doing. Sam wasn't sure what he was supposed to do either, he and Dean had spoken once or twice about what would happen if she ever started dating. Dean was fully prepared to just threaten them to the point where they left her alone. Sam didn't think that was fare though. Not when he could tell that this guy had a huge hand in her being alive today.

"Spence, this is Sam. Sam, Spencer." He traded the baby for the water. Addison was a little relieved to have her hands free and the weight off her chest. At the same time, she liked holding her and didn't want to let her go. Spencer was happy to hold her, it also got rid of the option of shaking hands. Something Spencer hated doing and dreaded the altercation where he would have to just wave and hope they didn't get offended.

"I uh." Spencer started, "Addi's told me a lot about you. She has….nice memories with you."

 **YAY Next chapter. Tell me what you think.**

 **If you read the original story you know that their daughter ended up being named Aella. I'm going to give you guys a chance to change it if you didn't like that name. So if you don't care or like the original name let me know. If you have a name that you like you can leave it in the reviews as well. Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

John Winchester wasn't a man who was easily surprised. He didn't let things surprise him. As a man whose been hunting monsters for more than half of his life, he constantly had to remind himself that anything was possible. It was one of the reasons that John went to check on his youngest son every few months. John had an inching thought in the back of his head that something was going to happen, and despite his lack of magical ability, he decided that just like anything else, there was a possibility that he gut was correct. He refused to lose anymore kids after what happened to his daughter.

Over the last four years, John had gone to check on his son more then a dozen times. Each time showed similar findings. Just a young man having fun and working hard in college. He wasn't shocked to find his with a girlfriend after a few short months of being on campus and he was surprised to see him in a jewelry store looking at rings. This was the first time in almost four years that something bothered him about the picture he stumbled onto.

Sam had rushed from his apartment and bought a ridiculously expensive plane ticket even though there were cheaper options only a few hours later. John wasn't getting on a plane, so he just found the location and got on the road. It took a lot longer then he would have liked to get to Virginia, but he made it. He wasn't sure where he was going, Sam's plane had landed in Quantico but that didn't mean much. At least that's what he thought until he saw his son leaving a hospital. He followed him to an apartment building where he disappeared inside and didn't come back out.

John couldn't wrap his head around what his son was doing. He wasn't sure when Sam would be coming back out. Part of his thought that it had something to do with the killings going on in the area but after looking into them a little on the way, he quickly realized that they were human crazy.

Sam came back out the next morning and hailed a cab back to the hospital. John followed him inside at a reasonable distance. All the way up to the maternity ward thanks to the little number panel on top of the elevator. That was when he really started to wonder, he expected an accidental grandkid from Dean, not Sam. It was the only reason he could think of that would put Sam in a maternity ward all the way across the country from where he lived.

This is also where he got lost considering his son had disappeared. "Can I help you sir." John looked to the woman at the front desk.

"You wouldn't happen to know where my son just disappeared off to would you? Tall, dark hair. He just came though."

"Do you have a last name?" He decided to go for it.

"Winchester." He put his hands into his pockets and waited for her to look in her system.

"I have an Addison Winchester."

0000

* * *

They kept us in the hospital for a week. It has been one of the most overwhelming, amazing, and horrifying experiences of my life. The nursing staff was amazing, they answered all the questions I could even think of. With Sam's help we ended up deciding on the name Aella. The background behind it was badass enough for me but it sounded soft enough for Spencer to approve. Sam offered it and I think he was a lot happier about picking the name then he let on.

As we were leaving, Spencer managed to convince me to use a wheelchair. I couldn't really tell how I felt about it considering I wasn't in much pain, just exhausted. I was just happy that I got to carry her out. The pain was almost completely gone (other than going up and down steps) but moving far distances tired me out.

"You have the crib set up right?" I asked Spencer as he wheeled me to our SUV. Sam opened the back door, revealing the car-seat that Gideon had bought for us as a gift. He had really gone all out on the baby things. I kind of thought that it has something to do with Gideon not having contact with his son. I saw him as kind of like a second father and I know that Spencer did as well.

"Yeah, Sam helped me finish it up." He said as he opened the passenger side door, "here, lets put her in her seat." Spencer went to reach for her, but I avoided his grasp.

"Can't I just hold her?" I knew the answer.

"It's safer for her to just ride in her seat." Spencer reached for her again and I let him this time. Spencer moved to the back and began buckling her inside while Sam came to stand in front of me.

"Need help?" Sam reached his hand down for me to grab.

"No." I lifted myself out on my own, rolling my shoulders in an attempt to loosen the muscles, it didn't work. I managed to climb into the passenger seat with the help of the 'oh shit' handle. "Do we have pie at home?"

000

* * *

Sam couldn't stay much longer after I got to go back home. He has exams coming up and had already missed a lot of class, but this visit had been exactly what I needed. We didn't really talk about Dad or Dean except for a few seconds, just enough for him to tell me that I should call them to, that they deserved to know I'm alive and okay. I decided to put it on the back burner. I wanted some time to spend with my Daughter before shit really starts hitting the fan.

I also didn't tell him about my nightmares, much to Spencer's displeasure. I couldn't bring myself to darken the mood. I was to happy, not to mention I hadn't had any nightmares while at the hospital. Maybe having her and knowing she was going to be just fine eased my anxiety for now. Hopefully they wouldn't come back anytime soon.

Sam and Spencer seemed to get along. Spencer didn't seem to spend any time alone with him, not that I thought he would, Spencer wasn't a social person who liked meeting new people. He was trying and that was all I cared about.

"If you need anything call me." Sam gave me a serious look. "I want a phone call at least once a week." He refused to let me break eye contact.

"You're not going to be gone forever." I said from my spot on the couch. "Christmas is coming up. Hopefully by then We'll be in a bigger place."

"Yeah, Jess and I'll come back then when we're off." He smiled, "it'll be our first real Christmas." He said it like it was a kind of joke.

"We've had real Christmases before, Dean always made sure we did." I gave him a small smile. "Dad dropped the ball most of the time, but Dean kept it from hitting the floor." Sam nodded after a second.

"Yeah, he did. I really think you should call him. He blames himself for what happened." I was a little alarmed just how quickly our conversation turned. I took a deep breath, the guilt I had been shoving down before began bubbling back up to the surface.

"I know. I just need some time with Aella before I do anything new. At least until I'm fully healed." Sam nodded in understanding.

"They've made it for five years, they can wait another month or two. Just don't wait another year. I might not be on speaking terms with them and Dad might be a major ass, but I don't think you're going to get the reaction that you think you're going to get. Not to mention you have a life here, you have a baby and Spencer. You're doing good for yourself." He sighed. "You are a lot better off with him then you were with us. I hate saying it because we should have done something before it got too out of hand. I was too busy trying to get myself out that I didn't pay enough attention to the path you turned down and Dean was trying to keep dad happy and the two of us alive. It's not all on you." He said, "and don't let anyone, not even yourself, tell you otherwise. Addiction is a disease and you can't cure it on your own." I don't know if my hormones were messing with me or if I was just upset, but the more he talked, the harder it became to hold back tears.

"You're going to miss your flight." Those were the only words I can think to say.

"No click-flick moments?" He asked with a smile.

"I think I operate better without them." I choked out. He laughed and moved over to hug me. "I love you."

"Love you to."

0000

* * *

The car was completely silent for most of the ride. Spencer wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. He knew that Addison wanted him and Sam to get along. Sam was in a similar situation.

He also wanted to get along with him, he could tell that any relationship he would be having with his sister here on out would involve Spencer.

"Thank you." Sam said as they got stuck at a stoplight. Spencer looked at Sam in surprise, he hadn't been expecting a conversation.

"For what?"

"For taking care of her." Sam said. "I'm glad she found someone she could connect with." Sam was completely serious, and he could tell he caught the other man off guard. "I don't know what could have happened if you hadn't taken her in." Spencer was quiet for a few moments.

"I don't know either." He sighed as he remembered everything that happened in the last five years. When Spencer looked back, he would wonder why he did what he did. He couldn't remember what he saw in her that made him so intrigued with her. He normally thought it had something to do with her knowledge on a world he didn't even know existed, but sometimes he wondered. He was happy he did, especially now. She had supported him in just about everything he did and everything he went though.

At the time, he had just put his mother in a home and living in her house after shipping her off was very painful for him. Then he met Addison and she helped him put things into perspective.

"She still has a long way to go." Spencer said. He was a little ticked off that Addison hadn't spoken to Sam about the nightmares. He understood that it wasn't something she wanted to delve into after having their daughter, but it was never going to be a good time for her. It didn't matter, she would find an excuse to avoid the issue. He hated that she continued to live with the fear of being murdered on Aella's six-month birthday. It wasn't healthy

"What do you mean?" Sam gave him a sideways look. Spencer thought about how much trouble he was going to get into by telling Sam. Then he decided that Addison's mental wellbeing was more important then a few nights on the couch.

"Addison still has nightmares often." He took a deep breath, "I believe that it's a symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress disorder. She's been getting better, a lot of her other symptoms have decreased over the years as she learned to deal with everything, but the nightmares haven't gotten better." Spencer really hated to think about the nightmares. They normally happened three to four times a week with varying degrees of intensity. Most of the time, he would wake up before she got to restless or started screaming and wake her up, but sometimes he didn't and now that he was gone for a lot of the time, he wasn't here to wake her up or calm her down. It was why he had been so relieved when she reached out to Sam, but every step she took forward seemed to be followed by three ones back.

"You think she has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?"

"I think she's had it for a long time, I think that the attack she had when she was nine was what triggered it. The drug abuse was her way of dealing with it and running away helped her avoid triggers." Despite the uncomfortable awkwardness that Spencer seemed to have permanently etched into his persona, Sam could sense his frustration.

"Do you know what the nightmares are about? She's had nightmares for as long as I can remember." Sam had a feeling she wasn't sharing everything, but he figured that would happen. It was going to take some time before they were back to a normal sibling relationship.

"Your mother dying. She has different variations of the same dream. Sometimes it's Addison that dies, sometimes its your mother, sometimes its me. She wont talk to anyone but me about it and talking to me isn't helping them." Spencer didn't really give Sam time to be surprised. The first thing that went though his mind was his own dreams of Jess dying. He didn't know what Addison's nightmares had been when she was a kid because she refused to speak then to, looks like that hasn't changed any.

"So, you think the attack brought the disorder on, but it evolved to be more about our mom?" Spencer nodded.

"She won't get help-" Sam cut him off.

"That's a family thing she gets from Dad." He shook his head, "I'll call her and see if I can help."

"Thank you."

"How much trouble are you going to be in for telling me this?"

"It's hard to tell. I'll find out when she finds out."

 **Please leave your thoughts down below. What do you think John is going to do?**


	9. Hey guys

p dir="ltr"Hey guys,/p  
p dir="ltr"I'm not sure if this is something you guys would be interested in, but I created a Twitter for these stories./p  
p dir="ltr"I have all my posted stories on different sites and talking to everyone requires posting on several different websites. If you guys would like to follow me there, I'll be able to do more polls where everyone can have an equal say-if I need votes, you know. I'll even hear other story ideas, I've gotten a few and then people can vote on that./p  
p dir="ltr"I'll also send out when new stories will be posted and if i there are delays about posting, that way you'll know something is getting worked on./p  
p dir="ltr"Anyway I dont know if this is a good idea. Heres my username strongMoose_tastic. /strong/p  
p dir="ltr"strongName is Lilly The Turtle 🐢/strong/p  
p dir="ltr"Thanks guys. Hope to see you there!/p 


	10. Chapter 10

John wasn't sure what he was going to do. He hadn't done anything to approach Addison even though his son had already gone back to school. He just sat in his truck outside her apartment and thought about what he was going to do.

Addison herself never came back outside and John wasn't sure what apartment was hers. Sam had only gone outside one other time and that was when he was leaving to get on a plane. John hadn't called his other son yet, mostly because he wanted to see her before he got Dean involved. The only thing stopping him was the baby. That was probably the largest curveball that he could have ever expected.

He wouldn't have this surprised had he found her body. He tried looking into her, she was obviously using her real name if they had it at the hospital, but all he could find was that she was enrolled in classes at a local college but hasn't resigned for any new classes and seemed to be taking the current semester off. He couldn't find the apartment number and he couldn't find the name of the man she just had a baby with either. He was guessing it was his name on their apartment and all of their utilities. If he spent a little more time here looking, he was pretty sure he could find everything he needed.

John decided to wait it out until he could get her alone. Mostly so he could have more time to think about what he was going to do, he knew he was angry, he wanted to bust in there and drag her back on the road where she belonged. But at the same time she had a baby now. She's 18, not 13. It wasn't a change he had ever thought about dealing with because up until a two weeks ago, she was dead. She obviously wasn't wanting to talk to him and he didn't want her to run again, that seemed to be something she was good at.

He had half the mind to call Sam and demand some answers. He didn't really think that would go very good considering the way they left things. John was tired of fighting with his son and decided to leave it alone. He would get answers from his daughter. He just needed to make sure not to alert her until he was ready to confront her.

000

Aella wasn't a loud baby, but she made sure to make herself known. She woke Spencer and I up around the same time each night and him and I took turns depending on what she needed. It wasn't until we had her home for two weeks that things started going downhill. The nightmares came back with the force of a tidal wave and I stopped producing milk. We ended up having to get regular baby formula for her. Of course, the doctor blamed it on stress.

I couldn't describe the feeling that came with this new turn. I couldn't even do the most basic thing of motherhood right. Not to mention, Spencer and I weren't really talking between him going to work and the two of us taking care of Aella. I could tell that the nightmares were getting on his nerves though, so when he was home I tried staying awake, so he could sleep. I wasn't sure if he could tell though.

That's how I ended up in front of the coffee pot at five o'clock in the morning. My fingers shook as they moved to the start button and my eyelids felt like lead. Aella had just fallen back to sleep after waking up for the third time. Spencer managed to sleep though most of it though. I wasn't sure how considering the crib was in our bedroom.

"Thanks for making coffee." I felt Spencer's lips against my cheek causing me to nearly jump out of my skin and almost knock him out. His hands rested on my hips and I felt him pull me into him. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. I couldn't help the anxiety that was eating away at my chest. It was only getting worse.

"You're welcome." He was quiet for a second, just standing there, letting the silence build between us. It was almost like he was waiting for something. When it didn't come, he sighed and moved away from me. He made a cup, making me one as well.

"When's the last time you had a full night of sleep." He asked tiredly.

"Not since we brought her home, when's the last time you had a full night's sleep?" I took a sip of the hot liquid after I said the words

"You know what I mean." He said. I didn't reply. We were quiet for another few moments and I could tell there was a kind of awkwardness between the two of us. It was unsettling. There hadn't been an awkward moment between us since we first met. "You can't just not sleep." I shrugged. "It's only going to make things worse." Spencer said. I was saved by the sound of Aella waking up and crying. Spencer went to move towards her, but I beat him to it.

Aella's crib was inside our bedroom, mostly because it just didn't make sense to have her anywhere else, not when our lease was going to be up soon, but we had other reasons to. It was another reason I've been staying up. Spencer still wasn't convinced that she wasn't going to have any issues. SIDS was a really big concern he had and pushed onto me as well. The two-week-old hadn't shown any signs of anything but we were just trying to be careful.

I couldn't tell who she really looked like. Spencer said she looked more like me, but I could see some of him there. Spencer was right behind me when I made it into the bedroom. She was flat on her back with her tiny arms flailing, her eyes screwed shut. She didn't stop crying when I pulled her into my arms.

"I just changed her." I told Spencer.

"I'll get some formula." He replied. I flinched at the word formula. His hand rubbed my shoulder, telling me that he saw it. He left and when he came back he had a bottle, handing it to me. "I already checked it." I nodded and gave it to the screaming baby who gladly took it. Cutting off the sounds that came from her little mouth. It didn't matter how tired I was, it made me smile. I felt Spencer behind me again. It was odd, he was far more touchy-feely with me since she came home than before. I wasn't sure why, but I was a little worried that if I asked, he would stop.

"It's not your fault." He said, referring to the formula.

"You're wrong, if I could just chill the fuck out then it wouldn't be a problem."

"You don't know that, nothing about the pregnancy was normal. This could be a product of that." He said softly, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. I shook my head and turned my full attention to the newborn. "Maybe you could talk to someone." He said it carefully.

"Spencer-"

"Just talk to Sam about the nightmares Addison. That's all I'm asking. You obviously can't deal with it yourself. If that were the case, you wouldn't be having nightmares. Staying up all night so you don't wake up screaming is just as unhealthy if not more than just having the nightmares." I chewed on the inside of my lip.

"I don't know, I don't want to unload all my crap onto him, not when I just came back into his life. He doesn't need to worry about me." I said, Spencer was quiet. It gave me a weird feeling. I turned around to face him. Normally, he wouldn't just stop talking about something. His face didn't help my feeling. "What?"

"I mentioned it to him." He said. "I told him that you have been having nightmares and what they were about." Spencer said it carefully, but he didn't sound guilty about it. He didn't look it either.

"You what?" I gave him an incredulous look. His words didn't register for a long second.

"Addison, you need to talk to someone and think your brother is a good place to start." He defended.

"Okay, you can tell that to me, but you have no right to just…. just tell him my….my." I couldn't think of a word.

"I don't have a right?" He asked, "I've been waking you up and calming you down from your nightmares for the last five years. I know that it's hard for you to talk about it but if you don't acknowledge that you have a problem, which you have, the next step is to try and fix it Addison." I opened my mouth to cut him off, but he silenced me. "You haven't done anything to try and make the nightmare situation better except staying awake, do you have any idea the negative health benefits to not sleeping?" For a second, I thought he was going to go into the risks, but he took a deep breath and seemed to restrain himself.

"Addison, you have a problem, a much bigger problem then you are willing to accept. I love you, but I can't watch you go backwards, not when I've helped you get to this point. How is our daughter ever going to learn how to deal with her problems when you won't confront yours?"

He was making direct eye contact with me and I couldn't think of anything to say. I didn't have a defense to help myself, and his comment about Aella hit below the belt. It didn't take long for Spencer's phone to make an obnoxious noise. It seemed to defuse the bomb in the room. Spencer sighed.

"Are you leaving?" I asked softly, turning away from him, Aella still dinking her milk like nothing was wrong.

"Yeah. I need to be there in an hour." His voice was clipped.

"You want me to drop you off?" I asked, watching him grab his 'go bag' from the closet.

"I'll take the subway." He said, putting his bag on the bed and going back to the closet and grabbing what he was going to wear today. I nodded and sighed. I didn't like the idea of him going back to leaving town so soon, but at the same time I knew that we were lucky he was able to get any time off. Especially with what was going on with Gideon.

Spencer wouldn't tell me everything that happened but from what I saw on the news, the case he was on while I was waiting for my operation went south. Six agents that were involved ended up getting killed due to an order that Gideon gave. Gideon wasn't talking to anyone and frankly, Aella was a lot of work.

By the time Spencer was about to leave, Aella was done eating. I had moved to the couch, neither Spencer or I said anything towards each other. Before he leaved, he stopped in front of me crouching down. He pressed his lips to Aella's forehead. He smiled at her for a long second, then glanced up at me.  
"Love you." He said.

"I love you to." I responded.

"Talk to your brother. I just need you to try." He stood up, leaning over to press his lips to my head.

"Okay." He stopped, leaving his face buried into my hair.

"Okay?"

"Yes…I'll try but-" I was cut off by his lips. Aella ended up getting a little squished between us. She didn't seem to mind. He pulled away a few seconds later. "You need to go to work."

"I love you. Get some sleep!" He moved to the front door.

"Tell that to your daughter!" I replied. "She doesn't sleep, I can't sleep." He rolled his eyes and left. Part of me wanted to sleep but the other part didn't have time. The apartment needed to be at least picked up and we were almost out of food. I wasn't sure if taking Aella out was a good idea, I wasn't sure how she would be around other people, hell, I wasn't sure how I was going to be around people.

About a year or so after knowing Spencer and trying to get off drugs, I had a really hard time being around large groups of people, like almost having panic attacks. They went away for the most part but being around large groups of people still made me a little uneasy. Simply because you never know what people are going to do, it wasn't anything weird, at least I didn't think it was. According to Spencer, there was a problem with it.

It took me about half an hour to get ready to leave. I managed to get a five-minuet shower and started a load of laundry. I got Aella's things together and my things as well. I didn't realize until that moment just how many things that Spencer and I had bought for her. The thought of carrying all of this down and back upstairs along with groceries sounded awful. Not that I had a choice.

"Okay, lets go." As I opened the front door, closing it behind me, I was slightly put off seeing the woman who lived across the hall from also leaving her apartment, this was something that I had been dreading. Mrs. McKinley has given me plenty of crap for living with Spencer without the two of us being married. Not that she ever had anything negative to say to Spencer. Most of the time, at least before I found out about to Aella, I could deal with her, but for the last few months I just haven't had the patience to deal with her. I didn't say anything, or even looked at her as I locked the door. Aella was sleeping soundly in her car-seat carrier. I was hoping it would remain that way though our entire trip.

"Babysitting?" Mrs. McKinley questioned, her lip turned into a permanent frown.

"Nope." I smiled tightly and passed her. Spencer had the idea that I just be really nice to her and not let her words bother me. I took that as, 'limit all interactions with her to less than five seconds', that's my definition of 'nice'.

I was a little happy that she didn't respond not wanting to deal with her. The stairs weren't as bad as I thought they might be. I just wasn't as fast as I normally would've been. Hopefully the store wouldn't be very busy, the fast I could get home the better.

0000

John watched his daughter leave the apartment with a baby car seat in her arms. He debated on going to her then. But he decided against it, something about her face and the fact that he wasn't sure where she was going made him feel a little reproachful. This was also a good time look around her place and see just what he was dealing with.

He waited until she was gone for a few minuets before getting out of his truck. He made his way into the building, hoping that there might be some last names on the mailboxes, so he could figure out where she lived. He was out of luck because there weren't. John looked around, there wasn't anyone at the front desk, the only other person was an older woman who was also checking her mail.

"Hey," he said, grabbing her attention, "I'm looking for my daughter's apartment, I'm trying to surprise her but I'm not sure what one is hers." The women smiled at him.

"Well, I've lived here for about twenty years, if you give me a name I might be able to tell you which floor they're on." She smiled, "it's so nice to see caring fathers these days."

"Addison Winchester, blond hair, she's got a tattoo on her chest." He said, remembering the symbol he'd seen on her as she was leaving. The woman's smile seemed to disappear rather quickly.

"She's your daughter? And you're allowing her to live on her own, with a man? They're not even married!" John automatedly changed his mind on wanting to speak with her.

"She's an adult." John said in a tough voice. Calling her an adult was weird for him. He had to remind himself that she was 18, she'd be nineteen in less then six months. "I just need her apartment number."

"4B, forth floor." She said curtly, "you outta talk some sense into her, I saw her leaving with a baby today. No way it can be hers. She's skinnier than a poll, has been since she moved in. But from the way their living it's only a matter of time. God forgives but she shouldn't be adding kids into her mess. I mean, you let her get the devil's symbol on her chest?" The woman shook her head at John like she was disappointed in him. She continued to speak but walked around him and left the building.

John sighed, not wanting to deal with her again. He quickly moved up the stairs to the fourth floor, hoping that he could get inside before the lady came back. He found the building under secured, and easy to access, he figured his daughter would have been hiding in a more 'out-of-the-way' kind of place, not in plain sight. He found the door and looked around to make sure no one was coming. It didn't take him a more then 30 seconds to unlock the door and make it inside.

The first thing he noticed were the bookshelves. They were lined with books, some of which weren't even in English. John had a hard time deciding if they belonged to his daughter or if they were the guy's that she seemed to be pretty 'close' with. Some were medical, some were mathematical, other he couldn't tell. He did manage to find the lore books that all seemed to be clustered together. He figured that those were hers and the rest were his. He looked like a nerd.

John moved around the apartment, there weren't many personal things around, no photos on the wall, no knickknacks, not anything other than books. The place wasn't very big at all and John quickly found the end of it. The bedroom sported a plain white crib, a full-sized bed, another bookshelf, and a dresser. It seemed like every space on the outskirts of the room was being used. He noticed a few pictures on the one nightstand and there was a huge pile of clothes on the floor in the corner of the room next to the closet door. There was also another closed door that looked like it would go into the only bathroom in the entire apartment. John didn't spend much time in here, he left and moved back into the living room. He sat down on the couch and leaned back, waiting for Addison to get home.

 **What do you think is going to happen?**

 **How is Addison going to react to John?**

 **What did you think of her and Spencer's fight?**

 **How bad is her problem?**

 **Do you think she has PTSD or do you think there's more to the story then trauma, something more...supernatural?**


	11. Chapter 11

Aella didn't like waking up in her car seat while the car was moving. She started screaming her head off and wouldn't stop for anything. My head started pounding, my arm started burning and I was over the outing real quick. I turned the car right around and started heading home. I could order pizza until Spencer got back, he could stay with the baby while I go shopping.

The parking lot was just as empty as I left it, not that it was shocking. There was a truck in my old parking spot. I haven't seen it before and I had a few choice words for the owner, no one's parked in the damn spot since I moved in.

"Come on now." I said to her as I pulled her out of her seat. I couldn't help the frustration in my tone, my mood hadn't improved any since Spencer left. I was dreading the conversation that I would be having with Sam shortly. But Aella didn't deserve my anger, she didn't do anything to piss me off. She's not old enough yet. She stopped screaming but she was still crying. I decided to leave the seat in the car and just grabbed her bag before heading inside. I didn't like the idea of going up the stairs but considering there wasn't an elevator I didn't have much of a choice.

I had to stop about half way up to catch my breath. The doctor wasn't kidding when he said that moving around too much would tire me out. He said that I should avoid stairs if possible. When I finally made it up to my floor, Aella wasn't crying anymore, she was sleeping. It took me a second to balance her, her bag, and my other hand to get the keys, not that I needed them. The door was unlocked.

"What the hell?" My already bad mood seemed to plummet even farther down. I moved to the side of the door and thought about it. I knew I locked the door, Spencer could have come back, but he would have called me. Gideon had a key, but he hasn't ever showed up while no one was home, he wasn't comfortable with just walking into a home that wasn't his. I took a deep breath and glanced down at my daughter. I didn't have anywhere to put her and the thought of putting her in danger made my heart speed up. I didn't have a choice though, I would have to go home eventually. I sighed and turned the knob, moving Aella so I had a free arm.

I let the door swing open entirely before popping my head inside. I moved Aella to the side away from the door as I looked. I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting, but my dad sitting in Spencer's reading chair. I had half the mind to pull the door shut and leave. I licked my lips and froze. He was looking at me with a blank face.

"Are you coming inside?" He asked in a flat tone. I glanced down the hall and thought about how long it would take me to make it back out to the car. Would he catch me? Would he even run after me? It's not like he would have to, all my shit was inside, I would have to come back eventually. "Don't even think about it." He stood up and took three large strides towards me. He grabbed onto my arm that didn't hold the baby and pulled me inside before shutting the door and locking it.

"Hey!" The force jostled the newborn; waking her up. She didn't start crying but she blinked up at me. I was about to snap at him but the look on his face stopped me. The tension in the room was suffocating. I took a few steps back, hitting the back of the couch. I thought about putting Aella in my room, in her crib, but I didn't want to leave her. I didn't want to do anything other than avoid my father.

"Where's Dean?" I asked carefully, it was the only thing that I could think to ask.

"I sent him off on a case." The tone of his voice made my shoulder hunch down, I felt like I was nine again. He looked down at the baby in my arms. She was still awake, it was only a matter of time before she started crying again. I couldn't think of anything to say.

"I..." I started, "she…. I think…."

"You think what?" John Winchester was never a fan of beating around the bush. Not unless it befitted him. "You want to explain to me what hell you're doing with a baby? Why you thought it would be a good idea to take off on your own as a goddamn 13-year-old?" He was yelling at the end of it, Aella started crying. She didn't like the loud voice. I turned away from him to calm her down.

"She wasn't planed." I said, deciding to explain her existence first, I didn't want to talk about the other thing yet. "I didn't…. she surprised us." The phone started ringing from inside the baby bag. I walked towards the bedroom and dug around in the bag for the phone.

"She surprised you?" His voice followed me into the bedroom. "Don't know why you'd be surprised. Then again, you took off before we got to talk about the birds and the bees." I felt the shock of seeing him snap away, it was replaced quickly with anger.

"You mean I left before _you_ got around to it. Dean sat me down when I was eleven. Right after he got done explaining why I wasn't bleeding out!" His step faltered slightly. "She was a fucking surprise because I was on birth control!" She was still crying but I didn't know how to make her stop. I haven't been very good at the comforting part of mothing, just another thing I was doing wrong. By the time I set the kid down in the crib and tossed the bag on the bed, so I could look for the phone that had stopped ringing.

"How long have you been sleeping with the beanpole?" I rolled my eyes.

"Sleeping with him? About two years." My fingers wrapped around the phone that found it's way to the bottom of the bag underneath everything inside. Sam's name looked up at me in bold letters. I felt my anger peak. The only way Dad could have found me was though him. "I've been living with him for almost five years." I tossed the phone back on the pillows and turned around to look at him. Aella stopped crying so I figured now would be the best time to leave her be. Dad followed me out into the living room. "How long have you known where I was?"

"About three weeks. Followed Sam." I nodded, at least Sam didn't open his freaking mouth, the last thing I needed right now was someone else talking about my business.

"Great." I pulled my jacket off with an angry huff. "Just great! Couldn't have happened at a better time." I threw it into the couch.

"Happened at a better time?" Dad's voice was seething. "You ran away, you don't get to decide when you get caught!" I shook my head and moved into the kitchen. "Get back in here."

"Don't tell me where to go in my own fucking apartment." I said. "I have been on my own with Spencer for five years and…."

"Yeah, five years. Five years that I thought you were dead." His words stung. "Five years that you've been off playing house!"

"Playing house?" I scoffed at him, I was standing at the sink, my hands gripping the metal tightly. "I've been trying to become a productive member of society!"

"Seriously? I didn't raise you to become a 'member of society' I raised you to kill monsters. I raised you to avenge your mothers death."

"I didn't even know mom, I never knew anything other than god damned motel rooms! You wouldn't even talk about her, Dean could only share so much!" I could feel tears burning behind my eyes.

"You had a responsibility to your family-"

"Where the hell was your responsibility to me?" I looked at the pile of dirty dishes. "Where were you when I needed you? Where were you while I was drinking myself unconscious, or when I was popping pills in the motel bathrooms. How about when I woke up screaming in the middle of the night because I was having nightmares of everyone in my family dying?" I laughed, "no chick flick moments. You would just send Dean or Sam to handle it." The memories started coming back faster than I forgot them.

"They're your brothers-"

"You're my father! You should have been trying to handle the problem. Not Dean, he was just a teenager, he shouldn't have been worrying about me."

"What the hell would you have wanted me to do about it?"

"I don't know…talk to me, been there for me." He was quiet. "Don't stop yelling now." I turned to him, leaning back against the counter, crossing my arms. "You were on a roll." I could see the anger in his eyes.

"Don't talk to me like that." He said.

"Like what? I'm just being honest. You want to know why I left?" I shook my head. "I left because I didn't want all of you to find my body in the bathroom." I didn't like thinking about that day. Spencer got me to talk about it with him once or twice. Gideon to, but I've done my best to put it behind me.

"Your body?"

"Yeah, I was about this close," I held my fingers about an inch apart, "from calling everything off. If Dean hadn't called, then I would have for sure killed myself." The thought made my arm burn a little but not nearly as much as I would have in the past but burned nonetheless. "But Spencer is the real one that convinced me not to turn off the lights. So, if you're even remotely happy about finding me alive then you should thank him." There was a long silence between us. Him just standing in the doorway of the kitchen, and myself leaning against the kitchen sink.

"Why wouldn't I be happy to find you alive?" He didn't seem as angry as he was before. I let my shoulder relax a little.

"I don't know, I feel like it would've been easier on everyone if I had just gone though with it. No wondering what happened, no looking for me…" I shrugged, "I wouldn't have brought a little girl in this world who could very well grow up without a mother." I mumbled the last part. It wasn't something that I wanted him to hear. Spencer always gave me a hard time when I spoke about it. I think it just scared him though, he didn't know how to handle the thought of me dying. It was one of the many reasons he refused to believe that the bastard that killed my mother would be coming for me to.

"I'm happy you're alive." His tone seemed to soften slightly but the tension was nowhere near gone.

"Good…. I guess." Something seemed to catch his eye and he moved over towards me. I pressed my lower back into the counter, not sure what he was going to do. He reached out for my arm and that was when I realized that I had been scratching at it. There was a thin line of blood dripping down my hand, nearly onto the floor. That's when it made sense, he wasn't calming down because of what I was saying, he was softening his tone because he was confused, or worried, or something like that. I couldn't tell for certain if John Winchester had the ability to be worried. Maybe old age was taking a toll on him.

"Stop it." He pulled my hand away from the raw arm and turned me towards the sink. "What the hell is this?" He turned the water on and held my bloody arm under the water. The track marks were still easy to see, and the confusion seemed to leave him just as quickly as it came. "We found the pills…and the needles. I…." He seemed at a loss for words, "Why?"

"I needed to sleep." It was the only answer I could provide, "I needed to not dream."

"So, you thought drugs were a good idea?"

"I didn't know what else would work. You refused to talk about mom, Dean was too busy being the little soldier you made him, and Sam was working on getting into a good school. Some kid offered me to pills at school and they did the trick." I shrugged as the water began to run clear. "I didn't understand the consequences."

"Are you clean now?"

"I have been for over a year, almost two."

"Where do you keep the first-aid-kit?"

"It's in the bathroom, under the counter." He left the kitchen and walked into the bedroom. It didn't cross my mind until he came back out that Aella was still in there. He set the kit on the counter and opened it up. Neither one of us talked while he cleaned up the scratches and wrapped them up.

"Was she sleeping?" I asked.

"Yeah." I nodded, licking my lips. "Why'd you call Sam?"

"I…. Spencer's been trying to convince me to reach out to all of you for a while now." I watched him wrap the bandage around my arm. "Gideon, his mentor, found Sam's number and gave it to me. I decided to do it." I sighed, pulling my arm away once he was done. "I made him promise not to call you or Dean. I…."

"Why?" I could feel him looking at me.

"Because…."

"Than's not an answer." He grabbed the bottom of my chin and forced me to look up at him.

"I didn't want you or Dean to hate me."

 **Not my best, tell me what you think. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!**


	12. Chapter 12

I managed to escape to the shower soon after my altercation with my father. He had seemed to be out of things to say, we had gotten into a few more smaller scale arguments after the initial battle, but it was nowhere near as bad. It was mostly about Aella. He spoke about how I was going to be able to raise her and keep her from doing the same thing I did. He also wanted to know if I would be training her. The fact that I told him no really angered him. He calmed down when I explained that she'll know how to fight and shoot but I won't be raising her in a boot-camp like he did us.

He was still royally pissed at me, that I could tell, but he seemed like he was in shock. It wasn't something that I was used to seeing on him, maybe in my time away from him, he calmed down a bit. He refused to talk about my suicidal episodes and treated them like they didn't happen, but at the same time he stopped yelling at me for running away. He seemed to be somewhat happy that I was still living.

The hot water felt great against my skin and I was feeling a little better, getting my feelings about Dad off my chest to his face lifted a weight off my shoulders. I still had a little bit of impending dread for when Dean came. While I had felt anger towards my father, I felt complete and other guilt towards Dean. He had always tried to be there for me, he tried to make me laugh and feel better and if I could redo everything, I would have left a note to him and Sam. Dad made it very clear that he would be calling him soon, he wasn't playing the same game that Sam agreed to.

Aella was fast asleep when I went into the bedroom to try and avoid the tension in the living room. She was sleeping on her back with her little chubby arms up over her head. She seemed to sleep better during the day, I was going to have to figure out the best way to flip that with the night time. I would rather her sleep like this at night. Then again, my nightmares could be the thing that has been keeping her up with Spencer and I.

When I got out, I rewrapped the bandage around my arm and got dressed. I tore a brush through my hair and attempted to rub the bags out from under my eyes like they were dirt. But they weren't so it didn't come off. What I really wanted to do was go to sleep, but at the same time I knew that sleeping would bring the nightmares so decided against it. Not to mention, Dad would probably wake my ass up.

Aella wasn't in her crib when I moved into the bedroom and I had a second of panic. Only to find her with Dad in the living room. She was awake now, just chilling in my father's arms.

"I think she's hungry." Dad said after he noticed me. I nodded, still a little shocked at the sight. I hadn't ever seen dad hold a baby. It was a little weird. Over the last five years when I would think about Dad, I thought about the training, the drunken nights I tried to sleep through his babble about the thing that killed mom. I thought about his constant battles with Sam about hunting and how Sam would rather focus on schooling, or him treating Dean like he was nothing but a lower ranking cadet in his trope and Dean just going along with it. So, seeing him gently holding a newborn on my couch was ludicrous to me. "Where's her father?" He asked as I brought a bottle into the living room.

"He's at work." I said shortly. "Pretty sure he's going to have to leave town, they called him in early this morning." Aella transferred to my arms easily.

"What does he do?"

"Would have thought you would know, you've been in town more than enough time to figure everything out."

"I avoided the hospital and this apartment isn't in your name. All I could find was that you were enrolled in college at the local university, I didn't have time to get all your files from there before now." I would have thought that my smart-ass response would have pissed him off, but it didn't.

"He's a fed. He works in the Behavioral Analysis Unit."

"He looks a little young to be in the FBI."

"Spencer is very smart." I thought about how Dad would take to him. Spencer wasn't by any means the person that my dad would respect. Dad would always take physical advantages over mental ones. Spencer wasn't an athletic person at all. He was better a drawing a complete diagram of a gun and everything inside then he was at shooting one. I liked that he wasn't very active, and I liked that he was better with books. I had spent most of my life surrounded by men who were just as good, if not better, at everything I could do. Whether it be my brothers or other hunters. Spencer was the first person who was better at something different and I could learn something that I didn't already know. He's a great listener and he always offered a different viewpoint.

"Smart?"

"Yeah, he graduated from high school when he was 12." Aella greedily grabbed at the bottle that she sucked on, not that she was strong enough to hold it on her own. "He can read over 20,000 words per minute, he already has a doctorate degree, he's got an IQ of 187-"

"How is he with a gun?" Bit my lip and looked down at my daughter.

"He's not that good at guns, but he can tell you anything about them."

"That's not going to help if something goes down."

"If something 'goes down', I am more than capable of handling it myself." He grunted, and I swallowed my response. Things were kind of going okay and I needed to pick my battles.

"Does he even know about monsters?" Dad's voice was tight, and almost bitter.

"Yes, he does." I gave him a hard look. "You haven't even met him and you're already making judgments-"

"How did you meet this guy, doesn't seem like your type." He cut me off.

"What do you mean 'not my type' the last time you saw me, I was 13 and to busy getting high in the bathroom then looking at boys. You wouldn't have even seen my 'type.'" I gave him a sideways glance, "do you mean, he's not the type of guy you envisioned me with? Because that sounds more like what's going on." He shrugged. "I met Spencer in Vegas while he was getting attacked by a werewolf."

"Werewolf." I could tell he was thinking about what happened when I was nine. It wasn't something that he ever spoke about.

"Yep, killed it but I almost bit it myself. Spencer saved my life after I got done saving his." I was hoping that would get him some brownie points. Then again, keeping me from home for five years might not be something Spencer could come back from. "That, and he got me off the drugs." Dad nodded.

"Did Sam like him?"

"Yeah, they got along. I think Sam was impressed with his mind." I smiled. Looking down to Aella who had Spencer's nose. That didn't amuse Dad.

"Impressed with his mind…" He echoed. I licked my lips, a nerves habit that was growing worse with every passing day. Aella finished up after that.

"Can you just meet him before you decide how you feel?"

"You think I'll like him?"

"No, but I think you'll have a respect for him. At least you should if you're even remotely happy for me being alive because I can tell you for a fact that I wouldn't be if it wasn't for him." I said, readjusting the baby in my arms.

"I called Dean." My eyes widened, and I was suddenly happy that I was sitting down with Aella in my hands. I would have dropped her had I been on my feet. "He should be here sometime tomorrow." His voice was hollow, and he was watching my reaction closely.

"What did he…."

"I didn't tell him. You can when he gets here. Just told him to come and gave him the address." I bit the inside of my cheek. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. This was all happening a lot faster then I wanted, then again, I didn't really want it to happen at all. I really wish Spencer was still here, not at work. There wasn't anywhere to go except my bedroom and I was tried of being in there. I was tired of being in the apartment. "You have any food?" He leaned back into the couch.

"No, I was going to the store, but she doesn't like being in the car. I didn't want to deal with the cranky baby in public." I was a little happy at the change in topic. "I can order pizza if you're hungry." He nodded. I went to stand up with Aella, but Dad made a motion to take her.

"I'll hold her." My face must have shown a little too much surprise. "I do have three kids." I passed her over carefully. My phone was still in the bedroom on my bed and I got to it in time for Spencer to be calling.

"Hello?" I brushed my hair behind my ear.

"Did I wake you up?"

"No, I never went to sleep." The noise he made, made me think that he figured as much. "Are you leaving town?" I sat down on the bed.

"Yeah, we're going to Upstate New York. I can't talk about what's happening though." He said, he sounded like whatever he was keeping to himself had taken a toll. "Are you okay? You sound off." I sighed and glanced at the door that led to the living room.

"Yeah…. My, my dad is here." I crossed the arm that wasn't holding the phone across my stomach. Spencer was quiet for a few moments. "He followed Sam from Stanford and waited for him to leave before showing himself."

"Are _you_ okay?" His tone was more serious then it had been the time before.

"Yeah….it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It looked like it would be at first, but it calmed down after a bit of yelling. There's still a lot of tension, but as long as I keep my mouth mostly shut, everything should be fine."

"What about your other brother?"

"Dad just called him, and he should be here by tomorrow." Even I could hear the frustration in my voice. I didn't like that I would be greeting another family member within 24 hours. One who would be very upset. I had a hard-enough time dealing with Dad's anger, now I was going to have to deal with an angry John Winchester, followed by an angry Dean. That's what I get for running away.

"Do you want me to come home?"

"No, I…I can handle it. You need to go to work. You've take more then enough time off for the pregnancy, followed by me being in the hospital, then you stayed in town for the two weeks of her being home. I think the people of Upstate New York have need you a lot more then I do." I smiled at the floor. "Thank you for offering."

"You can call me any time though, I'll answer."

"I know you will. I think that its best that you're not here. I don't think my father will do anything, but Dean…. he used to threaten guys just for looking at me, granted I was only 13, not really the age for messing around with the opposite sex but I don't think he's going to take to you or Aella very well."

"How did your dad react to her?"

"Well, he was more upset that I got pregnant at all but he's not taking anything out on her. She's with him right now. I think he likes her. It's a little weird."

"You know, It's probably weird to him to. You were 13 when you ran away, he hasn't seen you, or heard anything about you for five years. In his mind he more then likely still thinks of you as a young teenager. Not an adult." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah that makes sense."

"The same goes for your brothers. They are still going to think of you as a 13-year-old girl. You're going to have to give them time to adjust." I knew he was right, but it was still going to be difficult. I really needed to get some sleep if Dean's going to be here tomorrow. "How's Aella?"

"She's good. She doesn't like cars. I tried to go to the store and she wasn't having it." I laughed a little. "I think she gets that from you."

"I don't have anything against cars." He defended.

"Really? You always get really tense while you're in one."

"I get tense because you're an awful driver." I gasped.

"I am not! You're the one that narrowly misses mailboxes and signs." I could hear him shaking his head, "That and statistically one in four male drivers will knock one or both side mirrors off the car in their lifetime."

"Addison, you made that up."

"I did not."

"That is not a statistic." I couldn't stop myself from laughing. It was the first real laugh I had in a while.

"You don't know that!" The words came out breathless and my lower stomach started to hurt.

"Yes, I do." He was laughing too, and we just laughed together for a few moments. "I have to go." He said after we calmed down.

"Okay…. love you."

"Love you too." After we hung up I looked at the phone for a few seconds before remembering that I was doing something before he called.

0000

John didn't mind his granddaughter, she was a quiet baby. She looked so much like Addison and Sam did while they were babies. Dean not so much, he had taken more after John as an infant. He could hear his daughter laughing in the bedroom, a sound he hadn't heard in years. She came back out with her phone in her hand and he could tell that she was in a much better mood.

"What kind of Pizza do you want?"

"Whatever you want." He shrugged. Addison nodded and went into the kitchen where a menu was attached to the fridge. "Why Aella?" He asked after she ordered the food.

"Huh?"

"Why name her Aella?" The name sounded odd coming out of his mouth, it didn't really roll off the tongue. She thought about it for a second.

"It was the only thing Spencer and I could agree on." She sunk into the recliner that sat in the corner between the two bookshelves. "I wanted something with a strong meaning. Something badass. Spencer wanted to have something that was more feminine that had a softer meaning. Sam thought of Aella that he had just learned about in his English class." She smiled at the baby, "it means 'whirlwind' seems pretty fitting. That and she was the first to attack Heracles when he came for Hippolyte's girdle." She shrugged.

"Have you guys thought about nicknames?" The first thing that John thought of was Ella but he had a feeling that his daughter wasn't going to like it.

"Spencer's been calling her _ladybug_." John didn't respond to that. "I think Aella is just fine." John grunted. They were quiet for a while, but it wasn't tense. Addison seemed to be nodding off in the chair. John could tell how tired she looked. She had pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her head to the side of the chair.

"When's the last time you had a good night's sleep?" John Winchester's definition of a 'good night's sleep' was far different than most other people.

"I haven't slept for more then an hour in the last three days." She yawned as she said it.

"She wake up a lot?"

"No." She paused, he could tell she didn't really want to talk about whatever it was.

"Then why haven't you been sleeping? It's not like you have monsters to hunt down." She narrowed her eyes at the jab.

"Nightmares." She said quietly.

"Thought you said you were better?"

"Said I was off the drugs, not that I was better." She bit the inside of her lip. "No, I still have the nightmares." He looked at her for a second.

"What are they about?" The baby in his arms made a noise, Addison's focus changed onto the child. She stood up and reached for her. She sat down on the couch, folding her leg underneath herself.

"Mom dying, sometimes me dying, sometimes Spencer dying." She shrugged, leaning back against the armrest. "I think the thing that killed mom is going to come back when Aella is six months old." It was the first time she said it to anyone but Spencer. John wasn't that surprised at her thought process. He had thought about it when he realized that she had a baby.

"Have you taken any security measures?" He already knew that she didn't, he'd looked all around the apartment.

"Spencer thinks that it would be excessive." She sighed.

"What the hell does he know?" Addison laughed.

"No, he's right. There haven't been any signs of monsters or anything at all. He thinks that I just have PTSD."

"We don't get that." John said dismissively. It sounded outright crazy to him, a hunter? Getting PTSD? It wasn't unheard of, but since Hunters lived though their entire life in a state of constant weird and scary things happening to them, it was unlikely that they would even have time to get it before they were killed. John didn't think he's kids would be susceptible to it though, he raised them stronger then that.

"He's made some convincing arguments. I agreed to talk to someone about them."

"Talk to someone?"

"Yeah, he mentioned Sam, but I guess you get the pleasure. But I don't think you're going to give me the feedback that he was hoping for." She chuckled. "All I know is that the sooner she gets to six months and I deal with whatever happens, the easier I will sleep at night."

"The nightmares, are they the same as the ones you had as a kid?"

"For the most part. When I was younger it was Sam, you and Dean that would be getting killed. I didn't start really having the nightmares about myself dying until I got pregnant. Granted I didn't realize I was pregnant until she was halfway done. I think there's more to them than just nightmares."

"Sounds like a warning to me." John agreed.

"We're about to be looking for a new place to live though." She said, "I figured that after we get into a house, not an apartment, I could really start monster proofing but as of right now there isn't much of a point." John didn't think that was true, but she yawned again, derailing his train of thought.

"Go get some sleep. I'll pay for the pizza and wake you up." She shook her head.

"No, Aella will be hungry again soon."

"I'll take care of it. Go."

"But-"

"I said go." She snapped her eyes to his. She waited a long second before getting off the couch. It looked like she was about to refuse but to his surprise she gave the kid back to him and moved into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. The pizza came quickly after that, but he didn't wake her up. He just hung out with the baby, turned on some TV and waited for his son to show up.

 **What Do you think is going to happen when Dean gets there? Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

"Each method of killing is completely different…." Spencer's words seemed to fade in the silence of the room. Morgan was spinning in the office chair slowly, leaning back with his hands behind his head. Spencer didn't even notice, he wasn't talking to the other agent. He was speaking to himself. Two different options. One, they were attempting to keep the police from connecting the murders or two, the unsub just hasn't found what method he liked the best.

"Is there anything I can do to help you agents?" The woman's voice caught both Spencer and Morgan's attention. It was Officer Maddison O'Connell. When they first arrived into town, she hadn't been very warm or welcoming to the feds, that is until she saw Dr. Spencer Reid.

"I think we're good." Morgan smiled at her, noticing the look of discomfort of the Dr.'s face. Officer Kelly was looking at Spencer when she reluctantly agreed and left. "You know, you're never going to get a girl if you don't respond back when one is interested in you." Morgan's amused voice made the room was little less serious, the change in mood went unnoticed by Spencer.

"I already have a girl." He said frustrated. He knew that if he knowingly out himself in a situation that could potentially give a girl, other than Addison, any idea that he was interested, Addison would cut off an ear. He wasn't sure if it would be his ear or the girl's, just that one would be removed. Derek sat up suddenly.

"Huh? You've been holding out on me?" Hotch walking into the room at that point.

"Who's been holding out on you?" Hotch questioned.

"Our boy Reid here's got a girlfriend." Morgan seemed to be having a field day. Hotch looked to be amused.

"Can we please just focus on the case?" Reid asked, turning back to the photos on the board, intending to do exactly as he said. Morgan noticed that Hotch wasn't all the surprised by the news.

"How long have you been with her?" Spencer sighed, he was still frustrated with her about everything and he had been trying to put it out of his head. He wanted to be calmer about it when he got home, especially when her family was there.

"Almost three years." He answered.

"We have another lead." Hotch said, coming to the younger agent's rescue. Morgan let it go with a chuckle and they looked over the left Garcia had faxed them of possible suspects.

0000

Dean waited outside the door, unsure of what his father wanted him to do. John didn't say if he was supposed to just bust on in or knock. He decided to go with the latter option, tapping his knuckles against the wood. There was a moment of silence before the sound of a baby crying bled through the door. Dean wrinkled his nose, almost backing away from the door. He wasn't the biggest fan of babies.

A few seconds later, the door opened with John behind it. Holding the screaming child. He nodded his head for Dean to come inside shutting the door behind him as he did as he was told. The apartment was small, and Dean couldn't for the life of him see a reason for John to be there and to have called him.

"What's up?" Dean turned back to his father who was trying to calm the baby down. It was a weird sight for Dean to see. "Whose baby is that?" The baby's face was bright red with thin blonde hair on top. She was wearing a dark purple onesie making Dean think it was a girl, he assumed anyway.

"This is your niece." John answered. The kids slowly stopped crying.

"Sam finally got lucky?" Dean asked, "or unlucky I guess." Dean laughed as he said it though he was still weirded out. "Why do you have her?"

"She's not Sam's." Dean was confused while he thought about it. Then I dawned on him.

"Addison?" His eyes went wide, and he froze. He tried not to think about his sister if he could help it. It only ever made him angry and upset. Sometimes she would get her way into his thoughts and he would always wonder if she was alive or not. If she found a place to live happily. All thoughts that pissed him off. He looked around the apartment again, looking for any thing that pointed to his sister being there. He couldn't find anything. "Where is she?"

"She's sleeping." He said, "she should be waking up soon."

"Sleeping? She's had five years to sleep." He spun around looking for a door. He saw the back hallway that that lead to a room.

"Dean, she'll be out soon. Sit down."

"But-"

"That's an order!" Dean rolled his eyes but listened. He angerly moved over to the couch. John went and sat down in the chair. There was a silence between them for several minutes. Dean got up and started poking around the living room.

"Calculus?" Dean pulled the book off the self, turning around to look at John. "She knows calculus?'

"Pretty sure it's the boyfriend's." He said.

"Boyfriend?" He then glanced back at the baby with an unhappy look. He shook his head and look back at the bookshelf. He found one of the lore books and nodded in approval but when he picked it up, it felt weird. "What the hell?" It made sense after he opened it up. A revolver was placed inside where the pages used to be. A revolver and a stack of cash. He held it up for his father to see.

"She's got a few hidden around here. I've found three so far." Dean pushed back it to where it belonged. He looked at the baby again.

"Why do you look like you like it?" Dean asked.

"Because." John said, "the kid hasn't done anything wrong." The sound of a door opening caught both men's attention. Dean crossed his arms over his chest, watching as his sister poked her head into the living room from the hallway. She made eye contact with Dean and froze. Her fingers wrapped around the doorframe.

The baby made a cooing sound and it snapped Addison out of the staring contest she was having with her brother. "Was she crying?" She took a step into the room but looked back at Dean when she did it. Like if she moved to fast, it would set Dean off. The first thing that Dean noticed was just how different she looked. Her hair was curlier and came down to her chest. She was taller, more muscular then she had been. He was a little surprised, he would have thought she would've been less active. She looked less stressed out, even though it looked like she had permanent bags under her eyes. She's already shone more emotion in the last few seconds then he remembered her showing for years.

She made it to John's chair, walking widely around Dean, and took the baby. She was still watching Dean as she did it. Dean didn't know what to say to her, he didn't have anything to say to her. He was pissed but he couldn't yell at her. Not with that look on her face.

"The knocking woke her up." John stood up, wiping his hands on his pant legs. The words fell on deaf ears. Dean took a deep breath.

"Baby huh? How old are you now? 17?"

"18." It didn't sound any better to her, not really. "She wasn't planed." Dean took a step towards her. "How long have you been here?"

"About 15 minutes. Have a good rest?" There was a edge to his voice, one that would have ticked Addison off if she hadn't been so off her game. She didn't answer him, knowing that it wasn't meant to be answered.

"I'm going to put her in her crib." Addison said, she needed to step out of the room for a second. Catch her breath and get her mind to come back. John and Dean watched her leave the room. Dean gave his father a look after she went into the bedroom. Dean was at a loss for words.

"I…" He ran a hand over his head and sighed. "Is this where you've been hiding out for five years?" He called back to the room. "We've been in motels nicer then this!" Addison came back into the living room reluctantly. She would have much preferred to stay in the bedroom but knew that wasn't an option.

"No." She answered, sinking into the Spencer's reading chair. "I was in Vegas for most of the time."

"Vegas?" Dean tasted the word on his tongue. "You ever think about picking up a damn phone? Letting someone know that you were alright?" She wouldn't meet his eye. "You have any idea how long we looked for you? I- we thought you were dead!" Dean's voice was rising steadily. "Look at me!" He moved to stand in front of her, she could see his shoes right next to her.

"I needed to leave…." She said finally. John noticed the difference in the way she was reacting to Dean then she had to John. The second John said anything to blame her, it was a fight. She was just taking it from Dean.

"You needed to leave?"

"I wasn't…. I wasn't thinking."

"Damn right you weren't thinking!" He exclaimed. "And all the drugs! What were you thinking when you started those? That where the kid came from? Were you to tapped out to remember protection?" That snapped something inside her.

"Don't talk about Aella like that." She said, snapping her eyes up to his.

"Well, what else am I supposed to think?"

"I haven't been on anything for almost two years." She took a deep breath like she was trying to calm herself down. She wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I was on birth control and it failed."

"And what about the father? How long have you been screwing around with him?"

"He's at work. And don't talk about it like that."

"Talk about it like what? Does he know about where you came from? The family you left behind? What would he think about monsters?"

"He already knows! I saved him from a werewolf. And yes," she stood up, "he knows that I ran away. He got me off drugs and he's been there for me through everything."

"He got you off drugs?" Dean wasn't expecting that answer.

"Yes, he's the only reason I am alive. He is also the reason I even thought about contacting you. I thought you'd be better off with me dead."

"Why would you ever think that? We tore this country apart looking for you." She looked down again. "You think that we would rather have you dead then alive?" He scoffed, turning away from her. "I need a drink." Dean looked to John. "Are you okay with this?" He waved a hand around the apartment. "With the baby? The boyfriend?" There was a knock at the door, Addison stood quickly. Moving around her brother to get to the door. She opened it a little for a second before stepping out and closing the door mostly behind her.

"Gideon?" She hadn't been expecting him. Spencer said he was still messed up about everything that happened in Boston.

"I heard that Spencer had to leave for a case. Wanted to make sure you had everything you needed." He smiled at her, but she could tell that he was using it more as a distraction. "Everything okay?" He noticed her face at that point. She looked over her shoulder into the living room. Dean looked like he was getting angrier.

"Yeah." She said quickly. "Its just my dad… and my older brother." She shrugged. "We're just trying to go over…. some stuff."

"Who the hell's at the door?" Dean called out. Addison licked her lips.

"Thought you weren't going to call them so soon after the baby was born."

"Dad followed Sam and called Dean." He nodded like he understood. "Like I said, you don't get one without getting all of them." The door opened behind her. She turned around quickly. "I'll be inside in a second." She told her brother harshly. "Chill out for a second." His eyes went wide at the change in her demeanor.

"Jason." Gideon introduced, holding a hand out to Dean. Addison looked between the two wearily. Dean took the man's hand out of habit.

"Dean…" He looked to his sister. "This isn't the…dad right?" Gideon laughed.

"No, that would be Spencer." He smiled at Addison, patting her on the shoulder reassuringly. Dean stepped back inside.

"Come on in. Pretty sure you can give me more information then she seems to want to give."

"I've answered all your questions!" She exclaimed. "You haven't asked anything else." She followed him inside. Gideon moved inside as well, shutting the door behind him. John gave him a blank look.

"You must be her father." Gideon said, "you have a wonderful daughter." Dean scoffed, and John didn't respond.

"How long have you known her?" John asked. She hadn't mentioned him in the short time John had been there.

"I met her a little after she met Spencer, so its been about 3 and a half years."

"Did you know she was a run away?" Dean asked. Gideon looked at Addison for a second to see her reaction.

"She told me after some prodding."

"And you didn't think to turn her in? Send her back to her family?" Dean was close to yelling and Addison huffed.

"The only person you need to blame about me running away and staying away is me. Not Spencer, Not Gideon. They were just trying to help me." Dean wasn't looking at her, he was looking at Gideon.

"No, if they wanted to help you, they should have sent you right back to your family. Where you belonged!"

"Oh? Really? And how well were all of you handling me? Dad's the one that gave me the alcohol! That wasn't an environment that would have helped me. And there isn't anything you could have done to change it. I needed to be on my own."

"Whose fault was that? Mine? Dad's? Sam's?"

"No-" she took a deep breath, "it was a fucked up situation all around. And no, its not anyone's fault except mine. Especially not yours Dean." His face didn't soften, and she could see his lip tearing a hole in his cheek. "You're the reason I didn't end it in that bathroom. When you called I-" Her voice cracked a little and she took a shaky breath. The baby started crying. "I need to…" She left the living room all together.

0000

I shut the door firmly shut and leaned against it. Aella was making a big fuss in her crib, waiting for someone to come do as she wished. Despite the tightness in my chest, she made me smile.

"Hey there sweetness." I lifted her from the crib, "I'm afraid you were born into the wrong family if you don't like yelling." She wasn't wet. "Are you hungry?" I sighed, that meant I would have to go back out into the living room. I did feel bad for making Gideon stay out there with them though.

Aella didn't stop crying and I took another deep breath, I'd just have to suck it up. The room was completely silent, and I noticed a hole in the wall next to my bookshelf. Dean was rubbing his knuckles that were covered in a thin layer of plaster. I hesitated for a second before hurrying past them into the kitchen. I heard Gideon walk in behind me.

"How are you?" I asked, setting Aella into the little napper thing we used when in the kitchen.

"I just got back from informing the families." He said tightly. "I've been dealing." I gave him a forced smile.

"It's not your fault you know. Spencer told me everything that he could without breaking any rules. You did what you thought was best. You had no way of knowing that he would do that."

"He told me he would." There was a silence that followed. I'm not the best at trying to comfort people. Looks like I'm not about to get better now. Aella took the bottle easily after I picked her back up. Gideon smiled at her, this was the first time he really got to see her, he had to leave the hospital before she was born. I looked over his shoulder and saw Dean watching me. Dad had been weirdly quiet, guess he was just letting Dean and I duke it out.

"Do you want to hold her?" I asked Dean. I didn't think he would, but I thought it might clam him down a little, if I was lucky.

"The baby?" He asked, surprised.

"Yeah…." He started shaking his head, but I walked quickly into the room.

"Come on, she doesn't bite"

"She's eating-okay." I set her down in his arms before he could finish.

"You work with this…Spencer guy?" John directed the question to Gideon.

"Yes….I've been mentoring him since he was 16." John nodded.

"So, tell me why and FBI agent didn't report finding a runaway teenager."

"Dad-"

"No Addison, he's right." Gideon cut her off.

"Your daughter was in very bad shape when Spencer introduced me to her. I was completely prepared to send her right back to you, but she begged me not to. I didn't know what her situation looked like before, I still don't. So, I made a deal with her. If she stopped taking the drugs and she got herself together, then I wouldn't report her. I'm sorry for the pain that caused your family, but I was doing what I thought was best for her at the time."

 **Oh no Gideon. I think you're entering some bad territory. Best you get on out of there.**


	14. Chapter 14

Five days, that's how long both Dad and Dean have been in the apartment. After Gideon left Dad and I got into it. It got to the point where Dean had to physically stand in between us to keep me from decking him. I'm surprised that none of my neighbors called the police from all the yelling. I hadn't had any nightmares, then again that could to be due to the fact that my daughter hadn't been sleeping for more then two hours at a time.

Apparently, dad wasn't okay with moving in on his job of being the 'father', it was the same fight that he had with Bobby all those years ago. I wasn't having it though, Gideon didn't do anything wrong and Dad wasn't going to make it out like he did. Since then, Dad came and left as he pleased, most of the time he came home drunk and would leave before I woke up. That I was thankful for, even just smelling the alcohol made me uneasy.

Dean on the other hand never left. I'm pretty sure it had more to do with the fact that he was worried that I wouldn't be there when he got back. Him and I didn't really talk though. I mostly tended to my daughter and actively avoided my father. He also cleaned up Dad's beer before I woke up.

But dad didn't leave this morning. I could hear him and Dean talking in the living room and the last thing I wanted to do was go out there. So, I didn't. I turned my back to the door and watched the sunlight bounce off the wall, trying to get at least a little sleep before I really needed to get up. Aella was still sleeping and I didn't plan on waking her up anytime soon.

The voices in the living room cut off and there was a nice silence for a several moments before I heard the door open. I couldn't tell if it was Dad or Dean until they sat down on the bed and I could smell the cologne. Dean cleared his throat.

"I know you're awake." He said lowly. "Dad's still here."

"I heard." I rolled over and looked up at him.

"Would it kill you to wear actual clothes to bed?" He wrinkled his nose at the bra I was wearing, I rolled my eyes and pulled the blanket up. "I mean seriously."

"Get over it, it's really not that bad. I've already worn all of Spencer's shirts. I need to do some laundry." I pulled the blanket up anyway, sighing as I glanced over to the alarm clock on the bedside table. "The fuck is he doing being awake at 7 o'clock?" I plopped my head back down on the pillow, pinching the bridge of my nose. "The only time I remember him be up this early was when he was coming back from burning some poor bastard's grave. That or he was stumbling home from some bar."

"Yeah…. the second one." I sighed again. "He wants to speak to you." I scoffed.

"You mean yell at me."

"Addison, you're being ridiculous. Dad's pissed because you took off and replaced him-"

"I didn't replace him."

"Sure, looks like you did." He let out a dry laugh. "You can't just hide out in here and wait for him to go away. You messed up and you need to deal with the consequences." I huffed, sitting up quickly.

"I get that, and I'm not hiding. I'm trying to avoid the fucking beer and dealing with our drunk father. Do you have any idea how long it's taken me to cut all of that from my life? How long its taken me to find other ways to cope with my problems that didn't involve me doing stupid shit?"

"You're being dramatic."

"Dramatic?" I looked at his face of disbelief. "I…Its to early for this." I shook my head and looked at the blankets around my legs. Doing my best to keep my emotions under control. "You…you just don't understand and you're never going to understand." I shoved my fingers though my hair. "Get out of my room, I'm taking a shower."

"So, you're just going to run away from this issue too?"

"Why not? Neither of you want to listen to what I have to say. Yeah, you both thought I was dead and I get how fucked that is. But it's not like I've been living it up in paradise. You might think I'm being dramatic but I'm not." He scoffed. "Every time I so much think about drugs my arm feels like it's being set on fire. I can barely go two nights without having nightmares! I'm trying Dean, I really am…. But…."

"But what?"

"I don't know…" I glanced at the clock again. "I just…please…" Dean was quiet, frustrated but quiet.

"What happened to your shoulder?" The change in topic caught me off guard. I glanced down before remembering that the scars on my back curled over my shoulder.

"Werewolf."

"Not the same one that go you when you were nine right? That one got your side."

"Yeah, the one I saved Spencer from. I seem to have bad luck with it comes to those." He reached out for the scar.

"Turn around." I thought about the arguing with him but decided against it. It took a little maneuvering, but I did as requested. "When the hell did you get this?" I felt his hands touch the tattoo.

"A few years ago." I shrugged, turning back around, and leaned against the wall. "I figured it was my tribute to you guys and the life." He nodded to the one on my chest.

"I thought that was what that one was for."

"Nope, that one's just for protection. I'm thinking of making Spencer get one." I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

"Really? No pants?" I swatted at his head and moved into the closet, smiling down at the baby as I passed.

"This is my apartment, I will wear, or not wear what I want." The first thing I noticed on the closet floor were all the dirty clothes that were piled there, and I made a note to go down to the laundry room in the basement before the day was over.

"No wonder you got knocked up at 18." I sent him a warning look over my shoulder. Reaching for my last pair of clean shorts and pulling them up my legs. "Where the hell is Shawn anyway?"

"His name is Spencer, and he is at work."

"Its been five days."

"Yeah, he travels. He should be coming home soon though. He's not normally gone for this long." Dean grunted as I pulled a tank-top over my head. "And please be nice to him when he gets here."

"Nice?" Dean grunted again. I shut the closet door and moved back to the crib, lifting the baby carefully.

"Yes, Spence hasn't done anything wrong except fall in love with me." Dean scoffed.

"He kept you away from your family."

"I kept me away from my family. Spencer has been pressuring me into contacting all of you. In fact, without him, you still wouldn't know where I was. Gideon to, he's the one that gave me Sam's phone number." Dean was quiet, I could see the anger still in his eyes and on his face. I glanced at the bedroom door and remembered that Dad was on the other side. "You coming?"

"Someone's gotta keep you from killing each other." He pushed himself off the bed and followed me into the living room. Dad was passed out on the couch.

"Wants to talk to me huh?" I looked to Dean and he shrugged, "I see not much has changed." I made sure to breathe through my mouth as I passed him. I set the sleeping baby down in her napper. The longer that we stood in silence, the more I missed Spencer. He never let it get to quiet unless I wanted it that way. That and he was sweet with Aella. I hadn't ever seen him act like he did with her. The first night we brought her home, he was reading her Edger Allen Poe. Dena plopped himself down into the chair at the table.

"So, this baby."

"What about this baby?"

"This is what you're planning on doing? Gonna play the stay at home mom? Take the kid to soccer practice or dance?" I shrugged.

"I don't really know what I want to do. I was in school for criminology, plan on going back, I was thinking about being a cop maybe. But I don't know." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't think I would mind being home with Aella though. Spencer mentioned that it might be a good idea." I shrugged. Dean got that angry look on his face again and I rolled my eye and got to work on making some coffee. He was silent again and this time I was happy about it. I've already had enough, and it wasn't even eight yet.

Part of me wished that Sam was here, at least he was on my side. He understood.

0000

Spencer Reid sunk into the jet seat, his legs sore from chasing down the unsub. He couldn't wait to fall asleep in his own bed. At the same time though, he didn't want to go home. The thought of meeting Addison's family made his heart drop into his stomach. But his want to be with Addison and his daughter outweighed his fear so he was going home.

"That was rough one." Derek sat down across from him, looking just as worn out as Spencer felt. "Call your girlfriend? Tell her you're coming home?" He asked in a teasing tone. Spencer sighed, he'd been a little surprised that the other agent had left the topic alone for as long as he did. Derek couldn't help but be curious.

"I'll call her when we land." Spencer had been trying to give her space with her family. That and every time he spoke with her on the phone he could hear her bother yelling in the background. He was a little worried about his daughter though. Apparently, Addison's father had taken a liking her to her, but Spencer didn't like the idea of her being around all that anger.

"So, tell me, what kind of girl makes Dr. Reid's knees weak?" He leaned forward on the table between the two of them. "Does she recite the uh…. _Quantum Properties of Light?_ She dress up like Princess Leia?" Spencer's face went bright red. "I'm just messing with you man. But Seriously, tell me about her."

"Her name's Addison."

"She a genius to?"

"No," he shook his head. "Addison is more athletic- I mean she's really smart, she can speak and read three different languages, she doesn't give herself enough credit. But she prefers martial arts to studying." That surprised Derek to.

"Martial arts? She any good?" Spencer nodded vigorously.

"Her father was teaching her how to fight since she could walk. After I met her she spent most of her free time at a kickboxing gym while I was working on school." Derek nodded in approval, then thought about it.

"Her dad like you?"

"I haven't met him yet."

"You've been with her for three years and you haven't met her father?" Spencer hadn't wanted to get into this part of his relationship with his coworkers.

"She hasn't been in contact with her family. Not until recently. They're at my apartment. Her dad and her older brother." He took a deep breath.

"So, you've got an interesting night ahead of you. Do you think they'll like you?" Spencer thought about it for a second.

"No." Derek laughed.

"I wouldn't worry to much kid. I'm sure they'll like you. You've got a great job, you're a freaking genius, and you two have been together for a while."

"They don't care about a job or being smart. Her father's an ex-marine. I can barely shoot a gun and Addison can hit just about any target. I've seen her knock out me who were three times her size."

"Obviously she doesn't care about what you can or can't do. If you've been together for three years, that means she came here with you? Right? And if she hasn't been in contact with her family then things are already pretty messed up between them. If they're trying to get back on good terms, then the last thing they should be doing is messing the two of you up." Derek said.

"Addi isn't the type of person that just talk things out, and from the stories I've been told about her family they aren't much different. They fight, sometimes physically, and then they leave. Come back and they fight again. Addison doesn't deal with anger well, she lashes out… and will Aella she hasn't gotten much sleep." Spencer put his head in his hands. The truth is, Addison's a mess and Spencer wasn't sure how to clean it up. Something needed to happen to snap her out of it.

"Aella?"

"Our daughter." Spencer ran his hand through his hair. He felt a little better talking about it with someone else that wasn't Gideon. Derek's eyes shot wide open.

"Daughter? How old?"

"Three weeks."

"Three weeks old?" Spencer nodded, and Derek blew out a long breath of air. "Wow, well don't let her family scare you to bad. You've got a good head on her shoulders and I don't think you'd settle down with just any girl." Spencer nodded absentmindedly. "Can't wait to meet her." He smiled at the younger agent. He leaned back against seat. "I mean, she's gotta be special if she can put up will all the statistics you ramble on about."

"She makes up her own." Derek tossed his head back and laughed. "She thinks it's funny."

"She sounds funny."

"She's not." Spencer shook his head, to be honest he was happier that she was getting back to trying to be funny. The way she was talking over the phone reminded him of their last year in Vegas. Back when they didn't have any responsibilities, Addison's nightmares were virtually gone and all she wanted to do was have fun and live her life with Spencer. He was hoping she would still be like that when he got home. He needed her to be.

"Well, anyway wanna play some poker?"

0000

"I am not going to let you give my baby Bourbon!" The screaming baby continued to wale in my arms. Dad was leaning forward onto his knees with his head in his hands, the hangover he was experiencing taking its toll as the baby screamed.

"Come on, just enough to get her to stop crying." Dean said, rubbing the back of his head. "It's not going to hurt her."

"If you even get close to my daughter with any sort of alcohol, I will cut out your liver and sell it to a Russian immigrant!" Dean looked taken aback at the aggression in her voice for a quick second, taking a step away from me, even Dad looked over at.

"Why Russian?" Dad stood up, still massaging his temple.

"Because I can speak Russian, that and I figured they were the best nationality to give a working liver to!" Dean thought about it before nodding his head in understanding.

"Give me the baby." Dad said, moving closer to me with his hands outstretched.

"No." I gave him a warning look, shielding her with my arm. "you had no problem giving me alcohol to keep me quiet when I was a kid." I was still angry about him passing out drunk on my couch for the last several days.

"I'm not going to drug my granddaughter." I wasn't sure if I was just tired or if it had something to do with him claiming her as his granddaughter, but it made the hairs on the back of my neck lay down. I still didn't want to hand her over though. She felt good in my arms even though the noise she was making reminded me that Spencer and I should have trusted condoms more then we did those stupid pills.

"I've got her." Dean groaned, tossing his hands up. It took a while, but she eventually quieted. I moved back into the kitchen to get away from my family for a few moments. It was difficult adjusting to being around them all the time after being away for five years. At least I tired to move into the kitchen, but when I made it to the door way I heard the front door unlock.

"Its about damn time." I heard Dean mutter under his breath and my heart dropped out of my chest. Spencer opened the door tentatively, looking around before walking fully through the door. He looked exhausted and I already felt bad for what was about to happen.

"Spence." I backtracked to him quickly before Dean could get to him. The first thing he did was trade his bag for Aella. "Careful, I just got her to stop screaming."

"Yeah, I could hear her from down the hall." He leaned over for a kiss that I gladly accepted, well, I did until Dean cleared his throat. I tossed his bag onto the couch. Dean looked Spencer up and down and from his face I could tell that he didn't like what he saw. He did stick his hand out though. Spencer looked at it and then looked at me. I gave him a look that I was prying he could read, it roughly translated to _if you don't shake his fucking hand I'll knock you out._ He read it thankfully and readjusted Aella. He shook his hand and it made me feel a little bit better.

"So you're the guy that knocked up my sister…."

 **So...how do we think this is going to go down?**


End file.
